Looking Ahead To Jesus In 2021

by David J. Stewart | December 2021

Job 19:25, “For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth:”

       Today is the last day of 2020 (at least here on Guam it is). Guam is 16 hours ahead of Chicago time (15 hours in summer). I have been doing a lot of research on different cities and places to move in the United States. I was surprised to learn that there are 19,475 cities and towns in the U.S. About 75% of those places have less than 5,000 people. I thank God that I am blessed to choose where to move. I will be alone at midnight tonight, going into the new year in 2021. I was alone for Christmas Eve. But Jesus is always with me (Hebrews 13:5). I love you all, each and every one who is reading this. God bless and thank you, for letting my big mouth (big keyboard...lol) be a part of your life, sincerely. To God alone be the glory!

I wish I could say my choice is easy, but it isn't. No matter where I move, I've been in love with the young Christian woman across the street since 2017. I will miss her a lot. I always feel happy when I see Abby. She won't even wave at me anymore because of my fallout with Harvest. I figure four years is long enough to be ignored before I take a hint. I pray for her each day, and am happy when I see her visit. Harvest Baptist Church won't take me back, and I guess that's a good thing, lest I be corrupted spiritually. They'll never know the pain they've caused. But selfish people don't care, and they don't care at all at Harvest. Our talk talks, and our walk talks, but our walk talks louder than our talk talks!

I sincerely apologize to all my web visitors for my preaching obsession with Harvest and the Bob Jones' crowd. Being lonely without a wife since 2006, suffering in neck pain and burning nerves continually (stenosis and radiculitis) since 2004, and being dissed by the largest independent Baptist church on Guam since 2014—has really got me down over the years! I need to move back to the United States—the sooner the better! Pray for me my friends. We cannot escape life! No matter where we go, we'll still be there! Life is largely what we make it. I need a church family. Sadly, it is true that many churches today operate like private Country Clubs, where you are not welcome unless they feel comfortable with you. Thankfully, Jesus looked beyond our faults and saw our needs (Romans 5:8). Psalms 103:10, “He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.” Who is a merciful God like unto ours?

When I was in Pensacola, Florida, visiting for a couple weeks in 2018, I signed up for the YMCA and used their steam room. It was really nice! There are 2,700 YMCA's in the United States. How cool is that! I got hit by a church bus in 1992, which messed up my neck. In 2004 I fell at work, which made me worse. Then I underwent two major neck surgeries, which screwed me up even more in 2010. Besides the chronic neck pain in back on my neck, I feel burning all the time in my nervous system. It makes me irritable. I have little patience. It's kind of like the elephant with the thorn stuck in his foot. I haven't found a mouse yet to pull the thorn out...lol. People don't understand, so they have no patience with my afflictions which they cannot see. It's just a burden that I have to survive with. That is why I like to stay home most of the time and work on my ministry websites, laying up treasures in Heaven (Matthew 6:19-20; 1st Corinthians 3:8-9). Hebrews 6:10, “For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.”

I know there are a lot of great women out there. Not everyone has tattoos, a bad attitude, a chip on her shoulder, mean, and angry at all men. I've met some really nice women, but they were already married, and that was that. It all comes down to one's attitude. Pastor Bob Gray Sr. is right, “Whether I have a good day or bad day all depends on my attitude.” It is a trap to fall into, to start thinking that all women or all men are the same, and bad. That is not true. We are all different. There are good women and bad women, and we all have good and bad inside of us. That is realistic! So I have a good positive attitude in the Lord, I think. Psalms 27:1, “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

I am not doing okay without a wife. I am frustrated all the time and lonely. I thought I had found a wife at Harvest in 2014 and 2017, but their ungodly pastors forced me out, and ostracized me for their own personal pleasure. The people at Harvest have spouses, so they couldn't care less about me, just so long as things are well with them. That is how people think—only about themselves! I wish Marty Herron could be all alone, with nobody, and be rejected by the local church, and lose his home, and suffer in chronic neck pain. I wish God would lower Marty's long pharisaical nose. I don't think anybody owes me anything, but all I ever wanted was to attend church. Where dwelleth the love of God? I am so sick of uncaring Christian phonies! Being imperfect as a human is one thing, but shunning people because you don't like or care about them is entirely another. I love everyone and don't wish evil upon anyone, but I have God's promise to someday vindicate my preaching and Biblical stand against the apostate Neo-evangelical Bob Jones University crowd (Romans 3:4; Matthew 5:11-12; 2nd Timothy 3:12).

Proverbs 12:17, “He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit.” I told THE TRUTH at Harvest Baptist Church on Guam. God only authored ONE BIBLE, not two (Psalms 119:140; Proverbs 30:5-6). God only made ONE GOSPEL, not two (Galatians 1:6-9). Am I therefore your enemy because I tell you THE TRUTH? (Galatians 4:16). Religion always corrupts the truth! Religion is man trying to reach God through human effort, but Christianity is God trying to reach man by the sacrifice of His only begotten Son on the cross. I am shocked that Bob Jones University endorses Dr. John MacArthur! Did you know that MacArthur's Lordship Salvation book is required reading at the Mormon Brigham Young University? Oh, why won't you all listen Bob Jones crowd?

On a health note, I have almost eliminated red meat from my diet this month. I eat cooked dry beans instead, which gives me lots of protein and, unlike meat which contains no fiber, I get lots of fiber now. If you soak dry beans for 12 hours or more, and replace the water 3 or 4 times, they won't be intolerant on your body. I feel healthier from eating healthy. But I haven't been walking like I should, still depressed. I need to leave Guam soon. Then my neighbours can throw a party, glad I'm gone. All I ever wanted was to be loved and be a part of their church family. I guess that was too much to handle for a bunch of Bob Jones graduates. I don't know what the hell they teach their students at BJU, but they sure don't train them to love others. That's because they are academics and not church builders. That is exactly what Jack Hyles said...

“The pastors have destroyed the churches, and they've been trained by people that have never built churches, and they have no compassion.” —Pastor Jack Hyles, “Many Pastors Have Destroyed My Vineyard

I don't expect my moving elsewhere to change much. I'll still be in bodily pain. If I don't get involved in a church I'll still be lonely, but hopefully I'll find a church that cares about THE TRUTH and PEOPLE. At a minimum, I can sign up for Match.com, which I cannot get on Guam. I'll have a lot of things to take care of to resettle, which I am not really up to, but I cannot continue surviving this way alone. When I move, God willing, I'll have my laptop with me. Dr. Bob Gray Sr.'s Twitter page helps me, with the truths that he posts. He recently said that: “Life has no remote, get up and change it yourself.” And he said in an article that it is not a sin to be afraid, but it is a sin to be afraid to be afraid. I like that too. I am moving forward by faith. I know God does not want me to live like a recluse, because Harvest Baptist Church on Guam doesn't give a damn about me as a hurting human being. I love them unconditionally. They are my church family, even though they have ostracized me since 2014. Pastor Marty Herron ought to be ashamed of himself, and Pastor Gary Walton. People matter! It seems like nobody cares in churches anymore. I want to get involved in a church, and be the one who cares. Amen! That is all I've ever wanted. It is more important to be a friend, than to have a friend.

Okay, enough of that. I drink one bottle of Japanese Green Tea every day, which helps burns fat. The Bible doesn't say in Daniel 1:12-16 that the princes lost weight after eating pulse (beans, lentils) for 10 days, it says they looked much more healthier (“fairer and fatter”). Eating healthy is key for long term weight loss and management. I lost 70 pounds in 2017. I got down to 145.0 pounds. I weighed 146 pounds when I was 18 years old, at 5' 7". I got depressed in 2018 and gained a bunch of weight back. I'd like to maintain my weight between 150 to 170 pounds for the rest of my life, Lord willing. I want to lose some weight this year. It is a constant battle for me, because I like to eat, as do most Americans. And I am a pretty good cook. Kindly said, I don't want to be some fat slob at age 60, God willing. Thankfully I haven't gained all my weight back and am fighting to stay healthy.

I feel overwhelmed right now in physical pain and trying to decide where to move, and with all the things I have to do, but I am going to move with God's help. I definitely want to leave by my birthday in March, but I have to take everything day by day. I am carefully watching the COVID-19 situation. Now they're talking about a new strain of the virus. A lot of people are hurting right now. I'm leaving most of my junk behind, including the TV. Who needs that, right? I'm leaving my vehicle. I'm just going to give it away, leaving it. It is super expensive to ship things from Guam to the United States (like $6,500 for just one 3.5 x 7 x 8 crate). I'm taking my musical instruments. I'm taking most of my books, college notes from Hyles-Anderson College, computers, lots of musical stuff, family photos. My former wife left me with everything when she abandoned and divorced me in 2006. I still have everything (photos, marriage license, art work, gifts, invitations). She left it all and has never asked for any of it. That really sucks! I definitely chose the wrong woman to marry! I was 20 years old and stupid, but didn't know it! Now I'm 53 and stupid, and I know it!

I am avoiding processed foods, but I still like White Castles here and there. I'm not becoming a vegetarian, but most Americans eat 20 times more red meat than they should. My doctor said my cholesterol was high at 260, which is why I started eating better. Strangely enough, even when I lost 70 pounds, my cholesterol was still high, because I like beef. I am not going to eat beef anywhere near as much as I used to. I am pleased with my new diet. I want to feel my best, so I can move and relocate somewhere to start over, Lord willing. But when I get to the states, Lord willing, the first place I am going is to Sonic Drive-In for a double cheeseburger! I love those things! I ate some in Pensacola in 2018. I really don't know where to move, and when I do decide, it won't be for any particular reason. It really comes down to the type of weather I want. I definitely don't want a large city (stuck in traffic). Nor do I want a tiny town (the boredom would kill me).

I am not too familiar with the great churches. To be honest, it is scary to walk into a new place, where you don't know anybody, but I did it in 2014 at Harvest, and I can do it again through Christ. Pastor Jack Hyles often said that most church people absolutely have no idea how hard it is, for someone who has gotten out of church, to come back! He was so right! And being in constant neck pain, my body doesn't want to be anywhere, and so there's that. I have no complaints, I just need to move and let everything follow. Hopefully things will work out better than worse, but we never know what a day may bring (Proverbs 27:1). Our plans are fantasies (which don't include negatives), but reality always includes negatives.  I've learned that it's best not to expect anything, so then everything will be a blessing!

My mind has been all over the country in my research, trying to settle on a place to move. Lynchburg, Virginia is a nice town of 80,000 people (250,000 in the area). Evansville, Indiana has about 118,000 residents, situated along the Ohio river. Corpus Christi, Texas is a nice city of about 320,000 people, by the ocean.  Of course, my main thought is to find a good church. There are 6,500 independent Baptist churches around the country. By God's grace I'll turn 54 March 5th. I want to be gone from Guam soon. I look forward to access to a YMCA, enjoying the fall season again, being around more white people (Guam is 2% white), and finding a solid Bible-believing church (not like Harvest where they are a clique, just making a living, and people don't really matter). A hurting dog barks!

I am not a mean person, not at all; I am simply a broken man, who has lost everything in life, and like everyone else I just need to be loved. Moreover, I need a group of people to love. Pastor Marty Herron said many things from the pulpit in 2014, when I attended Harvest for a year, that helped build my faith. One thing he said, that I'll never forget is: “Pray for each other, because certainly no one else is going to do it.” He was right! Dr. Herron also said: “We draw people into the church with Christ's love, and then attach them to the truth.” I love that! I took extensive notes during my year at Harvest. I just wish I meant as much to them as they mean to me! The greatest threat and enemy to New Testament churches today is indifference (i.e., not caring as much as we should, about what really matters).

Kindly said, one of the reasons why I have wanted to attend Harvest since 2013 is simply because they are mostly white, independent Baptists, like me. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be around your own ethnicity. I love all ethnicities, but my heart is being around white people, because I am white. I could be happy in a city with 50% whites. I just feel alienated in a community that is only 2% white. It is not a racial thing, it is a personal preference. I think any sensible person can understand that. So by Harvest rejecting me, I feel lost without a church family. I love them still, more than they can know. I am moving soon, Lord willing. I am breaking some ice by writing about it, letting everyone know. I have wanted to move back to the United States since 2006, after my spouse abandoned me. I tried to move alone in 2013, but I was overwhelmed and came back broken, broke and tired. It is difficult to move to a new place where I have never been, because all I see in my mind is a blank. Since I visited Knoxville in 2013, and Pensacola in 2018, those are easier for me to move, because I can picture them in my mind. I think that makes sense.

I was playing my D-10 Sho-Bud pedal steel guitar the other night, on Christmas Eve. The Left-Knee-Right lever broke off and fell to the floor. Aarrgghh! I hate when that happens! The guitar is over 40 years old. I ordered a replacement part from Texas on Christmas day for $37 plus $12 shipping. The part is on the way! Hallelujah! My Sho-Bud is a dinosaur to be sure, weighing 85 pounds in the case. Ouch! But the tone is great! The hardrock maple body gives it that nice sound. This picture is of me and my Mom at the Grace Mission Church in Chicago, where I voluntarily helped my father as his Assistant Pastor from 1993 to 2001. I played live music on major holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas for the guests.

Mom, and me playing my Sho-Bud pedal steel guitar. This was about 1997.

My Evans FET-500 steel guitar amplifier with a 15" Eminence speaker burned up last month! While playing my Sho-Bud, the amp died, smoke filled the room, and the off switch was super hot. I could smell that something had fried inside. I bought the amp back in 1992. I'm going to take it back with me to the mainland, Lord willing, and hopefully find someone who can repair it. I love the amp. New one's run $1,500. I paid $850 for mine. The original owner sold the company and they don't repair the old one's anymore, so I have to find a shop that can fix it. It's a great amp made for pedal steel. Plus the new ones have ugly tan colored grills, mine is a cool jet black. I love music!!!

Anyway, it will be the new year 2021 in 7 hours and 37 minutes from now (Guam time). I am going into the new year with a spirit of unconditional love for everyone, a spirit of forgiveness toward all, a desire to please God more in all that I do, a desire to witness to more people personally this year, and to have a better Christlike attitude everywhere I go. I love my web visitors! I love my family! I love my Savior! I love my country! I love Abby across the street! I love you all at Harvest Baptist Church of Guam, so much! I'm so sorry for the grief I've caused for your church, but I make no apologies for standing for THE TRUTH. I am rude in speech, yes, but not in knowledge. 2nd Corinthians 11:6, “But though I be rude in speech, yet not in knowledge; but we have been throughly made manifest among you in all things.” I love everyone and may God make us all better people, Americans and Christians in 2021! Lord help me to: SIN LESS, SAY LESS and SIT LESS!!! (by Pastor Danny Castle: If I Could Live 2010 Again! | MP3). Jesus is precious!!!

The Gift Of Eternal Life Is Wrapped In The Wonderful Package Of Jesus


“Faith is the only righteous thing that I can do!”
—Pastor Jack Hyles, a quote from the MP3 sermon titled: God's Reversal Of Psalm 51

1st Corinthians 16:24, “My love be with you all in Christ Jesus. Amen.”

Souls Are Dying!

How Permanent Is Your Salvation?
(an excellent MP3 sermon by Pastor Hank Lindstrom, 1940-2008)

Mark 1:15, “...repent ye, and believe the gospel.”

“The mark of the child of God is that he loves everybody!”
(a quote from Pastor Jack Hyles' classic MP3 sermon, “FORGIVENESS”)

Mark 11:22, And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God.

Ye Must Be Born Again! | You Need HIS Righteousness!