I am so tired and frustrated. I have been racking my brain out trying to
decide where to move, but I cannot decide. I am still planning on leaving by
my Birthday on March 5th, but I cannot do anything unless I decide where to
go. I also ordered a new laptop because my old one's keyboard lost power and
stopped working. Everything is delayed because of the pandemic and I cannot
go anywhere until the laptop arrives. I am just about packed up. I packed up
my pedal steel guitar yesterday. I have no reason to stay on Guam. I am
leaving most of my stuff behind.
I've been looking at a lot of small towns in North Carolina, but I don
I don't feel peace about moving anywhere. My neck pain has been horrible this week. My sinuses sometimes get dry, and the pain intensifies, and it is inexplicable. I am so lonely right now. My web visitors have really kept me going. I have ministry friends all around the world, and many in Africa. I love all my web visitors. I apologize if I've seemed angry lately, I'm just hurting in many ways. I am suffering for my faithful stand for the free grace Gospel and the King James Bible.
You know, there's a lot of Baptist Christians who are aware of the Lordship Salvation issue. And then there are those like me, who actually suffer and get penalized for it. Since 2014 I haven't had a local church to attend, because the ungodly Harvest Baptist Church on Guam has turned me away, shunning and ostracizing me. They think they are being persecuted, but they are arrogant fools in denial; the truth is that Harvest are being exposed, refuted and rebuked for perverting God's grace, corrupting God's Word, and for not having compassion for hurting people like me. My obsession with preaching against Harvest is simply a reflection of how much I desire to be part of a church family, but don't have one. I think any reasonable, humble and honest Christian can understand why I am so lonely and frustrated.
I cannot do this anymore. I feel like I am dying inside. I should have moved back to the United States a very long time ago. I actually did try in 2013, and it turned into a nightmare disaster, costing me $50,000 to go in a big 4 month circle, living out of a suitcase and wasting $22,000 on shipping containers. I was so stupid. That is what happens when you are all alone, with no one to help you make decisions, and you don't know where to turn. In fairness to me, my medical afflictions overwhelm me easily. I love the Lord, and I did pray a lot in 2013, and I know He was always with me (Hebrews 13:5). I cannot express in words how the burning that I feel throughout my nervous system adversely affects me. People have no idea of the hell that I am surviving in. I hate my medical affliction, but especially in the sense that I feel it intensely, but people cannot see it at all. I've had doctors and nurses insult me, accusing me of lying to get disability, which hurts deeply. I wish I could prove that I suffer in neck pain, burning nerves, the right side of my body feels half asleep all the time, radiating pain in my arms and legs and tension in my neck. It is impossible to prove that someone is in pain, and impossible to prove that they aren't. It is a burden for me. Because I have had doctors and nurses abuse me, accusing me of lying, I worry that I may lose my disability. If I do I do, God will take care of me.
d
Look what the Apostle Paul said in Philippians 2:12, “Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” Paul told the church at Philippi, while he is writing from prison, that in his absence they would have to work out their own salvation. This has nothing to do with being saved. That is God's salvation of our soul. This is speaking about our life here on earth as a saint. The fact that Paul didn't tell them God would work out their salvation teaches me that we desperately need each other as Christians. When Paul wasn't present, they were ON THEIR OWN!
The Lord is with us as believers, but
we have to figure out our steps each moment on our own. Proverbs 3:6
says, “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
Notice that God promises to direct our “paths,” not our “steps.” We have
to take the individual steps. That is where the Word of God helps us, as a
Lamp unto our feet (Psalms 119:105). I have done the best I know how over
the years, which has turned into disaster and broken me down as a man. When
I pleaded with Harvest Baptist Church of Guam (repeatedly since 2014) for
their love, compassion, help and just an Olive Branch for a hurting brother,
they kicked me in the head and left me for dead. Senior pastors' Marty
Herron and Gary Walton threw me under the bus. I forgive them but God will
judge them (Romans 12:19-21). I love something that Pastor Max Younce said:
“God only knows the things that would have happened, if the things that
happened, hadn't happened.” That is one of my favorite preacher quotes,
because the shoe fits me so well.
God Willing I Will Be Moving Soon, But There's A Lot To Do
Moving
is a very hectic and frustrating time. Basically, I need to find a studio
apartment to rent wherever I'm moving, open a UPS Store account when I get
there so I'll have a mailing address (I hate the U.S. Postal Service), and
I'll need a new doctor (I'll need to arrange an appointment before I leave
Guam, so they can get me in for early blood tests). Those three things are
critical. Then I'll need to buy a used car within the first week, because
rent cars are insanely expensive. I like
Cargurus.com to find a vehicle. If anyone has any helps or suggestions,
I welcome them. If I can get past those major hurdles, I think everything
else will fall into place. The only real problem right now is deciding where
to move.
Having said that, Pastor Jack Hyles always taught everyone to move to a great church. So that is what the Lord is impressing upon my heart. I really like the Temple Baptist Church in Powell, Tennessee (outside of Knoxville). Pastor Clarence Sexton is their preacher. I love the guy. Pastor Lee Roberson trained him at Tennessee Temple University. I am a big fan of Dr. Roberson, whom I heard preach several times when I attended Hyles-Anderson College (1985-1993). I am also considering the Gospel Light Baptist Church in Walkertown, North Carolina (outside of Winston-Salem). I miss Dr. Bobby Roberson, who was their faithful pastor for 61 years! What a beautiful soulwinning preacher! And then I am considering the Clay Mills Baptist Church in Lexington, Kentucky. Pastor Jeff Fugate is the preacher there.
One thing that bothers me is that all these churches and associated Bible colleges bid Godspeed to Ken Ham, and take ministry trips to the Ark Encounter in Kentucky. It breaks my heart to see preachers bidding Godspeed to Ken Ham. Here is Ken Ham bidding Godspeed to John MacArthur. As far as I'm concerned, Ken Ham is a religious con-man! Ham teaches that to be saved you must turn from your sins. The guy takes in about $34,000,000 a year just from Answers-In-Genesis. The Ark Encounter is a private for-profit business, which takes in billions of dollars. It just bothers me that Ken Ham and his business partners have exploited Christianity to make a buck. Do you know what the Ark Encounter really is? It sure ain't no ark! It is a big cinderblock building with boat decorations hanging off the sides! If there was a big flood, Ken Ham's ark WOULDN'T FLOAT! So it ain't no Bible ark! Okay, I just needed to get that off my chest. If I do attend one of those churches, they'll never hear a word of criticism out of me. I'm running out of churches to go to...lol. Maybe I can get on the ark, next to Ken Ham's fire-breathing dinosaurs (I'm not kidding, he really has those on his dorky ark). Ken Ham's net worth is $54,000,000. I might go visit the ark, so I can urinate on it! Even Ozzy Osbourne went to visit Ken Ham's retarded ark. I never thought the self-proclaimed “Prince Of Darkness” himself would step foot onto Ham's ark.
Anyway, no church is perfect, and a good thing or they would never accept me. Harvest Baptist Church on Guam are a bunch of self-righteous snobs, who think they are better than hurting broken sinners like me, so they refuse to let me attend church services. That is so horrible, unchristian and wicked of Harvest. Shame on them all for thinking they are better than me! The only reason why I have written about Harvest so much in recent years is because I am without a church family, and they couldn't care less. There is something VERY wrong with their pastors at Harvest spiritually. I am so much looking forward to moving back to the mainland, so I can attend a church and be part of a church family again. I was part of something special (so I thought) in 2014 at Harvest, but Pastor Marty Herron threw me under the bus. When I literally begged three times in 2017 to please let me come back to church, he wasn't even decent enough to respond the third time. That man is a jerk. He can run and flee Guam, but he cannot escape God (Hebrews 4:13). I did the right thing. I told THE TRUTH. I am sick of being mistreated by pastors for telling THE TRUTH. God authored ONE BOOK, not two. God gave us only ONE GOSPEL, and it is not Lordship Salvation.
Something is wrong with our pastors
today. Something is wrong with John MacArthur being praised, coddled and
honored by the Bob Jones crowd, Steve Pettit, Marty Herron, Sam Horn, Ken
Ham, Moody Bible Institute, Harvest Baptist Church Guam, and other
Neo-evangelical apostates. There is nothing Christian about speaking nice
about false prophets! There is nothing Christian about bidding Godspeed to
heretics! I feel so lonely right now, but I know
God is proud of me for standing alone (1994 sermon by Dr. Jack Hyles). I
shall, I shall not be moved! Just like a tree that's planted by the rivers
of water! I shall not be moved!!!
Please Pray For God To Give me Wisdom
My neck hurts. My body is in pain and tired. My soul is sad and heart broken. I am alone in the big world. I would give everything I own for a wife to have, hold, love and cherish (and even obey...lol). Just remember, the secret to a happy marriage is that the man always has the last two words: “Yes dear!” They say love is blind, but marriage is a real eye opener! There's 3 rings in getting married: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and then the suffering. Okay, I'll stop. I would fly to Antarctica if I could find a plain old loving loyal gal to marry. God has been good to me, but life and people haven't. Anyway, Lord willing I hope to leave Guam in March. It all depends on how things progress.
My laptop keyboard stopped working 2 weeks ago. So I bought an external USB keyboard, which is what I am typing on for now. I just ordered a new laptop from Amazon.com. This broken one is about 5 years old and I've got my use out of it, typing night and day for my website ministry. I actually wore out the keyboard! It lost all power. I am still in awe that we even have computers, they are amazing inventions. So anyway, I'm waiting for the new laptop and the mail is delayed. I can't go anywhere until the laptop arrives. I am leaning toward Temple Baptist Church in Knoxville. I've been watching their church services, really great stuff! I thought about going to Texas too, to the Emmanuel Baptist Church in Longview, where Pastor Bob Gray II is the preacher. I love Dr. Bob Gray Sr. as a mentor.
My mind has considered moving all over the United States. I was looking at Cumberland, Maryland. But I was reading they have a drug problem there, and a lot of other cities too. Philadelphia caught my attention, but it has too much traffic. I love Philly Cheese-steak sandwiches!!! Van Wert, Ohio looks very nice and affordable, with only about 10,000 residents. Lynchburg, Virginia is nice, with about 80,000 people and affordable houses. I was looking today at Bryson City, North Carolina in the mountains. This little town only has 1,723 people, but look how pretty it is. I think that's too small for me. I want to find a wife. In a town that small I don't think I could find myself...lol. Winston-Salem is a nice medium sized city, with about 244,000 people. Knoxville is smaller, with about 186,000 people.
There are some amazing little towns in beautiful Colorado, but my heart wants to join a good church. I'm sure there are some there, but I don't know of any. Aspen, Colorado is super beautiful but also super pricey. I need to find an affordable place to live. I love everything I read about Sacramento, California and thought about going to Pastor Roger Jimenez church, but everything is real expensive there too. I read that rent is about $1,300 a month. I've never been there, but northern California looks so beautiful. I also considered Lancaster Baptist Church down further south in California, where Pastor Paul Chappell is the preacher. I love Brother Chappell, he preached at the Bill Rice Ranch around 1983 and 1984 whinny was there. I need a church family. That is what makes me happy! I've been advising all my web visitors for the longest of the importance of getting into church. When people write to me about all their problems, I already know that they don't attend any church. Preaching helps us think right! Church is where we get fed, find comfort to make it through the week,
g
