Beware of Bad Advice from People
By David J. Stewart
Genesis 3:1, “Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?”
Psalm 1:1, “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.”
People can be your worst enemy in times of weakness and indecision in your life. Many women attribute their decision to divorce to bad advice received from a caring friend, counselor, loved one, or ministry leader.
If you are not grounded in the TRUTHS of God's Word, then you will be blown about by every wind of doctrine, tossed to and fro by the advice of people. I feel sorry for people who seek answers from other people, because you're going to get all kinds of answers.
The Bible is the most abused and misused Book in the world. If someone knows that you believe the Bible, then they will maliciously twist the Bible in an attempt to lead you into making some very bad decisions. This is why the serpent misquoted the Scriptures to Eve (Hath God said, Genesis 3:1). This is why Satan misapplied the Scriptures to Jesus in Matthew 4:1-10. Satan is a liar (John 8:44). He will tell you whatever you want to hear to provide excuses for you to sin.
I'm telling you as your friend, whoever you may be, be very careful what advice you take from people. It is human nature for people to give unsought advice to others. People love to tamper in other people's relationships. Even worse, it is typical for people to give destructive advice to others because they are not emotionally involved with the matter. Some people might think that is a good thing, since they are not emotionally attached and can think clearer; but in reality, the truth is that people don't care if they ruin your marriage and family, because they feel absolutely NO LOVE WHATSOEVER for your loved ones. This is why it is a very bad idea to seek advice from people during times of marital crisis. Those bastards couldn't care less if they ruin your marriage.
If you want safe advice, seek out the advice of a person who has been successfully married to the same person for 40-years, preferably someone who has had many marriage problems but toughed it out. Any jerk can quit when the going gets rough. Any quitter can throw-in-the-towel and walk out on a spouse who's crying and begging in tears for forgiveness. Jesus commanded to forgive 70 times 7 or else you won't be forgiven (Matthew 18:22). In divorce, you are refusing to forgive. Divorce is an act of selfish hatred, an act of revenge and malicious vindictiveness. God hates divorce and calls it treacherous (Jeremiah 3:20). I tell you, DON'T DIVORCE!
A man recently told me that he has a friend who told him about all the horrible things that his wife has done to him, including cheating in bed. The man told me that he completely understands why his friend filed for divorce and that he thinks in THIS CASE it was justified. You know, I hear garbage like this all the time from people. What a bunch of self-righteousness hypocrites!
FIRST, the man who told me that he thinks his friend is justified in filing for divorce has no business making comments about someone else's marriage. The greatest business in the world is MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
SECONDLY, the man who told me that he thinks his friend is justified in filing for divorce doesn't feel any love for the man's wife. He didn't marry her. He didn't have enough love to be willing to make a lifetime commitment, exchange rings and vows, and promise “'til death do us part.” He is not the father of her children. It's easy for this guy to say that he thinks someone else is justified for divorcing when he is NOT emotionally involved. He is NOT involved in the marriage. He is NOT involved in the marriage commitment. He did NOT make a promise to remain faithful “for better, for worse; 'til death do us part.”
I'm so sick of people saying that they agree with certain divorces, when they didn't live with the married couple 24-hours a day and DON'T understand the total facts. It's easy to recommend divorce when you're not losing the love of your life. To you it's just a game, a decision, some advice that you give; but to the person being walked out on, they are losing everything they lived for. You are a sorry rotten jerk if you agree with walking out on anybody, I don't care who or what they are or what they have done! Marriage is supposed to be based upon unconditional love. Anything less is shallow and worldly selfishness.
Don't you dare divorce! Don't you dare! You forgive as the Lord commanded you (Matthew 18:22).
THIRDLY, Jesus condemned all divorce as only being the result of a hardened heart. Matthew 19:8, “He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” Marriage is for life.
My main point in this article is that people are quick to give BAD ADVICE because it doesn't adversely affect them in any way. It won't cost them a dime. It won't keep them up crying and worrying at night. They won't lose their retirement savings and home. They won't be dragged into court. They won't be a weekend parent. They won't suffer any loneliness. They won't be made to suffer the consequences of their mistakes for the rest of their natural life. They won't stand before a judge. They won't weep bitter tears of loss and sorrow. They won't suffer one iota; yet they are so quick to say divorce, divorce, divorce!
God will punish people for their destructive bad advice, and for every word spoken, when they stand before God on Judgment Day (Matthew 12:36; Romans 14:12; Romans 12:19; 2nd Corinthians 5:10; 1st Thessalonians 4:6). Those who have suffered greatly because of your careless and reckless words will be avenged. God will sort everything out. You will not escape the damage caused by your evil snake rot tongue, set on fire of Hell.
I encourage all of you, husbands and wives alike, to SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES as Jesus commanded in John 5:39, and let the unconditional love of God be shed abroad in your heart and mind. Divorce is NEVER the answer. Please don't divorce, no matter what. Leave if you must for awhile, get a job; but don't drag your spouse into a heathen court system and bring shame to the name of Jesus Christ as so many are doing today. If you are looking for reasons and excuses to divorce, there are hundreds of them.
You know, I've yet to hear even one angry disgruntled spouse make excuses or provided reasons why they should stay married. That fact speaks a thousand words. Why are there always 101 reasons to file for divorce? One woman told me that she divorced her husband because he looked at dirty magazines and went with a prostitute. She wasn't fooling me, and I know God doesn't buy into her hypocrisy.
FIRST, it's not my business what her husband's sins are and she sinned by telling me. She's slandering him. It's just shows that she doesn't love him or else she wouldn't be assassinating his character. Whether the allegations are true or not is irrelevant, she has no business going around tearing down her husband and God will punish her one day for it. I live by the saying: Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see. I'd suggest that you do the same.
SECONDLY, she conveniently and hypocritically didn't happen to mention any of her sins or faults. I guess she must be a perfect angel who never sins. What a selfish and self-righteous jerk! She condemns him for his toothpick, while she sits with a lumberyard in her own eye condemning her husband.
THIRDLY, even if her husband is guilty of pornography and adultery, she is commanded to forgive him in Matthew 18:22. She has NO grounds for divorce. If adultery is grounds for divorce, then what about all the other horrible sins that a person can commit; say, murder? Obviously Jesus meant something different. If you carefully notice Matthew 19:9, Jesus is focusing on remarriage and not divorce. To remarry is adultery, unless your spouse ran off in fornication and abandoned you. That's what Jesus meant. It is never permissible to divorce. 1st Corinthians 7:10 commands the wife who does divorce to remain celibate until her husband's death. To shack up is adultery (Matthew 5:32). It is not a light matter with God.
I simply wrote this article to make you think, to remind you that people find it easy to throw away your marriage... because your spouse means nothing to them. Your friend may value your friendship; but they didn't fall in love with your spouse, get married, have children, and plan a lifetime together. People only think about themselves. Your friend needs a bridge partner on game night or a drinking companion, so they couldn't care less if they trash out your marriage and drive your loved one to suicide. They have no emotional connection with your spouse, so how could they possibly make the right decision for you? Do you see what I am saying.
And by the way, I'm warning you about pastor's wives, ministry leaders, teachers at religious colleges, and your very pastor if he is not right with God. Bad advice can come from anybody, especially the people you trust. A lot of Christian women attend Ladies Spectaculars, Christian Jubilee meetings, or Christian Womanhood retreats, and that is fine; but it all means nothing if you divorce your husband. You are a failure if you quit!
There is no loneliness in this world as painful as having one's wife walk out the door and never come back again. It makes one suicidal, believe me. A man's life is his wife, especially after a couple decades of marriage, and without her he is lost at sea, struggling how to keep afloat on the storms of life. It is not easy and only God's grace can see a man through. I've heard so many men testify that they couldn't have made it without their wife. Well, what about the man who's wife divorces him and leaves him for dead? How does he make it? That is where you find the depths of God's grace, love, and forgiveness.
Poor Faron Young's wife divorced him after 40-years of marriage. He commit suicide years later, lonely and suffering from poor health all alone. A lot of men commit suicide after a divorce. It is inexplicably painful; yet people who have no emotional depth, memories, nor roots in the relationship carelessly and recklessly recommend divorce, divorce, divorce. Oh how evil and ungodly it is!
The Bible tells us to have the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:4-5). The Bible says that God never leaves nor forsakes His own (Hebrews 13:5). Hence, I contend that if we are to have the mind of Jesus Christ, then one ought never give up on their spouse nor loved ones. Never! God never gives up on us!