Here's a guy who goes to work every day faithfully to support his family. His wife stays at home and is supposed to be a "homemaker" (I never liked the term "housewife" because she's not married to the house). The man's wife has a problem... several problems. She doesn't clean the house. The kids don't do their homework. The kids get bad grades in school, the man simply cannot be a mother and a father to the children. His wife is cold towards him and has no interest in how his day went at work. She has no desire to kiss him. He comes home tired each day from work, life's pressures weighing down on him. Understandably, sometimes he is crabby.
His wife has no supervisor, so her husband has to reprimand her for not doing her duties at home. If the husband doesn't discipline her, then who's going to do it? She is not accountable to anyone else. He can't write her up. He can't fire her. He can't do anything more than try to encourage her by talking with her. If that doesn't work, he can get upset and watch her walk out the door (or he can just clean the house himself, even though his wife messes the home more than all the children combined). They talk about the problems and she agrees to do better, but she never does.
She has a serious lack of character. The kids rooms are filthy, with garbage on the floor and things all over the place. None of the garbage pails have liners and the smell is horrible. The dishes stink, she hides them under the sink. She changes the babies diapers, and hides them in a dresser drawer. She has lost her mind. As much as her husband tries not to get upset with her, he is still human and does get upset from time to time. She is not working outside the home. It's obvious that she has had a mental breakdown, but her husband doesn't know how to deal with her.
In desperation, after a few years of troublesome marriage, the husband takes his wife to the doctor and she is diagnosed with "hormonal imbalance" due to pregnancy. However, as the children grow older her emotional/mental problems don't get any better. She goes to another doctor and is diagnosed with "clinic depression" and is prescribed a drug. The drug sedates her but doesn't prevent her from having panic attacks. So her doctor continues to increase her dosage until one day she falls on the floor helpless and her husband has to pick her up to carry her.
The psychiatrists are worthless, doing absolutely nothing to help the woman. Her husband is tired and at the end of his rope, he doesn't know where to turn for help. His wife runs out the door for hours at a time every time he mentions anything negative concerning her lack of responsibility. She goes out in the middle of winter, barefoot in the snow, her feet are numb when her panic attack finally breaks. She is driving her husband nuts. Her husband is missing work because of problems at home with his wife. He tries not to get angry at her, but he is human and can only take so much.
He says mean things which he shouldn't say. Her overwhelming fear triggers more panic attacks and she leaves for weeks at a time, he has no idea where she's at. He is always sorry for getting angry at her, but living with her is the most frustrating thing he has ever tried to do. He counsels with others... some advise him to file for divorce... others advise him to take her for more "professional" help. Her mind is unstable. He is tired. She is predictably unpredictable. The marriage is on the rocks.
The man just can't get his wife to
fulfill her responsibilities. To make matters worse, his wife lies to
him about many things. She has a problem with compulsive fear. She
lies for fear of being wrong and being reprimanded. She hides his mail
from him. The next time she leaves, he finds letters from collection
agencies from bills that she hid from him. She talks to people on the
phone behind his back, sometimes slandering him.
When the husband is loving towards her, she doesn't listen. When the husband gets angry, she listens a little more. When the husband blows up, she leaves without warning when his back is turned and runs to a shelter. She doesn't call him for weeks, while the poor guy goes to work day after day... coming home to an empty house. The poor husband just doesn't know what to do. The husband reluctantly drops out of church because the wife keeps dragging people into their marriage problems (some giving very bad advice). The husband is depressed and tired from years of living with his wife, he disassociates from people.
The wife is emotionally unstable and suffers from often panic attacks. The average person doesn't understand the wife's mental condition. Friends and family become a threat to the marriage because of the wife's mental state and their lack of understanding (and eagerness to give bad advice to a woman who is impressionable and vulnerable). The husband just doesn't know where to turn. He prays to God day after day, but nothing seems to help. The husband is afraid to have any close contact with people because of his wife's habit of running to the nearest person for help. She is a threat because of her mental state. What's a husband to do?
After ten years of marriage, things don't improve. Though the married couple are Christians and don't believe in going to psychiatrists, the husband is desperate to know what's wrong with his wife. She goes to several psychiatrists and is diagnosed with "regressive anger"... "clinic depression" (again)... and "posttraumatic stress." His wife is sent to anger management class, given several different drugs over a five year period and is also given a major medical health examination. The doctors say that she is healthy. She does not have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) according to three doctors. Her problem is mental/spiritual. None of the doctors or psychiatrists have helped her.
After the insurance paid its share, the husband still ended up paying out thousands of dollars in expenses for his wife to get help (help she didn't get). Her emotional fear, anxiety, and panic attacks continue. As a result of her emotional problems she lies habitually out of fear, she hides things from her husband out of fear, she fears going to Hell, she fears being committed to a mental institution, she fears being left behind at the Rapture, she fears life itself. Although she says God saved her many years ago, she continually fears going to Hell. She asks her husband if God is going to kill her for not being a better mother. She lives in a needless self-made world of fear. Her husband loves her and weathers through the stormy seas of life with her.
The husband is an organized type person, but his wife is disorganized and sloppy. The husband is frustrated because she refuses to communicate with him. She hides her feelings, letting them build up in secrecy until she has a breakdown and leaves (again). When the husband asks her if everything is truly ok, she always says “yes.” His wife swears on God's name that she'll never leave him again, and promises him that she will talk with him next time instead of leaving. He begs her to communicate with him and offers to do anything to make her happy. She agrees wholeheartedly, but has a history of breaking nearly all her promises. She lies again and leaves within days, and doesn't call for weeks. She admits being fearful and concedes that she is never going to change. Sometimes she takes the children, sometimes she does not.
His wife told him she wanted to find a new psychiatrist. She didn't drive a car so she asked her husband to drive her to the appointments. For three months her husband drove her to the appointments, dropped her off, and then came back an hour later to get her. We'll, he should have went with her because it turned out that there was NO DOCTOR in the first place. The man's wife made it all up for fear that she was going to be committed to a mental institution. She aimlessly wandered around for an hour each time, waiting for her husband to come back to get her. Once the man's wife found herself on a public transportation bus and didn't know how she got there.
One day she gave her husband a drink. He guzzled the drink down and then noticed soap suds in the glass (with a horrible aftertaste taste in his mouth). She had failed to rinse the Ajax dishwashing detergent out of the glass. Would you be upset? On another occasion the poor guy had food poisoning from eating one of her salads. She was just a walking accident everywhere she went, and her poor husband suffered day and night because of it.
The husband's wife doesn't want to kiss him, saying she doesn't like "mushy kisses." The poor man is frustrated with his wife's lack of desire for sensuality or sex. She tells her psychiatrist that she has no feelings for her husband. She openly admits to her husband that she has been cold-hearted for the past several years. Yet, she continues to be as cold as ice. He gets angry at her sometimes when he sees a pretty woman, feeling like he's been cheated in life. His wife won't spend five minutes in front of a mirror to pretty herself up for him. She just doesn't care.
He gives her a credit card and encourages her to buy whatever she needs to pretty herself up. She doesn't do it. He asks her to buy a book on "How to be Sensual." She won't order it. After several fights, she orders it, but then she won't read it. After several more fights, she finally reads it but won't try any of it. It's a constant uphill battle for the poor husband, fighting tooth-and-nail all the way to get his wife to be a wife. Then she leaves him when he gets angry with her.
After 18 1/2 years of marriage she meets a religious feminist who influences her to divorce. That's always the answer of feminists... divorce, divorce, divorce! So she divorce him, dragging him through a heathen court system, costing him everything near and dear to him. She blames him for everything, saying that it's his fault that she couldn't cook, clean and be a wife. She blames him that she needed to go see a psychiatrist. It's all his fault in her mind. She calls him a bad father and an evil man, but she sees no fault in herself. The husband cries out to God... tired, broken and in despair.
THE TIRED HUSBAND
1st Peter 3:7, "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel..."
Note from webservant of Jesus-is-Savior.com...
God pity the lazy, rebellious, lying wife who afflicts her husband as does the woman in this article. I am not defending either spouse, because only God knows their hearts. This story is not uncommon these days. So many women are being sent to psychiatrists, being prescribed drugs, drugs, drugs. And then she goes to church and some apostate hypocrites break up her marriage.
If your marriage is weak within, you are open-game for every apostate, self-righteous, hypocrite who thinks your business is their business. I've seen it again and again. It's sad, but true, church is a dangerous place to be nowadays, because Americans have become misguided, selfish and hateful, and that includes churchgoers as much as bargoers. I've never seen such a bunch of hypocrites in all my life as churchgoers.
A husband ought to have a wife that he can trust, rely upon and be proud of. Sadly, so many women are quick to criticize, teardown and divorce their husband. If your husband goes to work and you stay home, then bless God, be a homemaker! Do your house work. Take care of the children. Love your husband. Stay off the phone and turn that TV off. It is sad that women are so often quick to take the easy way out.
I preach mostly against women regarding marriage, because they file for divorce at more than TWICE the rate of men in the U.S. This is because of government-sponsored agendas, including feminism and ambulance-chasing lawyers, who thrive as predators on weak women who are willing to cut their husband's throat in a divorce. It is evil.
"Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven." —Matthew 18:21-22
