The Guilt of Divorce

By David J. Stewart

 "Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.: -1st John 3:16

       I frequently have people e-mail me here at in response to my website article titled “Divorce is a Sin.” Most of the time people are upset over my article. They tell me that I’m wrong and that the Bible allows for divorce in cases of infidelity. Most people e-mail me in an attempt to alleviate their guilt. They wouldn’t admit it, but it’s true. Like it or not, divorce is a wicked sin and there are no excuses.

You see, divorce is one of those sins that perpetuates for a lifetime. If a man divorces his wife and marries another, then he will continually be reminded that he is living in adultery. I worked with a man years ago that walked out on his wife and divorced her. Within a couple years, he remarried. The man knew I was a Christian and would at times ask me questions concerning his divorce. He would bring up certain Bible Scriptures and ask me if he was living in sin. I always directed him to the Word of God and was careful not to seem judgmental. I was his coworker, not a preacher behind a pulpit at work. He knew he was living in sin, but he needed to come to that realization for himself. 

I often quoted him Mark 10:9, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” He often thanked me for not being a “Bible-thumper.” I had a couple Scripture verses on my toolbox, but I didn’t force my beliefs on my coworkers. Some respected me, others had contempt for me; but I had won the respect of this one particular man and later had the opportunity to lead him to the Lord.

Marriage is supposed to be for life. So many people skip town when the going gets tough. Whatever happened to “For better, for worse… ‘til death do us part?” People are such liars in today’s materialistic and wicked world. 

America is saturated with divorced people who are living in guilt (and rightfully so). The reason why they are continually asking people like me for advice is simply because they won’t FACE THE TRUTH that they have committed a wicked sin by divorcing their spouse. Divorce is a sin!!! I am now going to quote you some Scripture from Mark 10:1-12 which plainly and clearly teach that ALL divorce is sinful…

"And he arose from thence, and cometh into the coasts of Judaea by the farther side of Jordan: and the people resort unto him again; and, as he was wont, he taught them again. And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."

Clearly, divorce is ALWAYS caused by the hardness of people’s hearts. Jesus plainly said that divorce was only permitted in Moses’ time because of the HARDNESS of the people’s hearts. Just as the wicked Pharisees sought to justify divorce, so does an adulterous and selfish generation. The Word of God proclaims that all humanity is wicked (Romans 3:10, 23). We read in Proverb 13:10, “Only by pride cometh contention…” Divorce is the result of selfish pride. One woman wrote me and said her father was an evil man. She said that her mother had every right to divorce her father. No she didn’t!!!  Maybe she had a right to leave her husband if he was abusive, but divorce is never honored by God. 

Marriage is supposed to be based upon love. Marriage is a commitment, NOT an agreement. 1st Corinthians 13:8 declares, “Love never faileth…” When you marry someone, it should be because you deeply love that person with God’s love, not just the lustful appetites. It is the love of God that will keep a marriage together during the storms of life. The obvious problem is that so many people don’t have God’s love. God’s love is the love that cares about another person’s soul. God’s love is treating people the way God commands us to treat them. 

Many people live by the sinful worldly attitude, “Do unto others before they do unto you.” The Golden Rule of Matthew 7:12 reads, “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” This is true in marriage as well. We should treat our spouse the way we want to be treated, regardless of how they treat us. Marriage is NOT 50/50. Divorce is the result of sinful pride. Most people have “I” problems. When we point that finger at someone else, there are three fingers always pointing right back at us.

I realize that some marriages are more resemblance of a two-headed monster than a marriage, but divorce is never God’s answer. It is normal for married couples to desire greener pastures when their own marriage is on the rocks. However, what they need to do is to plant their own grass seeds, not ride off into the sunset. As every person who has ever divorced and remarried has found, every lawn has weeds. No man or woman has a complete package. Everyone is a sinner, each having their own skeleton closet. Wise is the husband or wife who learns to be content with the spouse they have. Contentment is not a condition, but rather a state of mind. In other words, people who are not content will never be content. 

The bottom line is that divorce is wrong under all conditions, even in cases of adultery. Jesus said that divorce did not exist in the beginning; it was just Adam and Eve (man and woman). No matter what happened between Adam and Eve, they had to tough it out. There was no way out. It’s a wicked shame that people nowadays bail out of their marriages with no reservations or second thoughts whatsoever. Jennifer Lopez walked out on her husband. He wanted her to remain at home as his wife; she rebelled and filed for divorce to pursue her sleazy career. Admirably, he rejected her money in the divorce settlement. It’s horribly wicked! Marriage is not a hit-and-miss game.

Hollywood practices “progressive adultery.” This is where people get married, knowing that they’re going to get a divorce after a few years. They deliberately move from one mate to another, living in wicked sin against God. Adultery has become so commonplace in America and Europe that it has actually become a lifestyle amongst the rich and famous. Their consciousnesses are seared and they feel no guilt or conviction. Then there’s the wicked late night comedy shows like Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien that mock sin and glorify sexual sins of every type. Those shows are of the Devil.

If you are feeling guilt, then that is good. You should feel guilt about sin. The important thing now is for you to deal with your sin and make it right. Stop trying to justify the horrible sin of divorce. Rather, come to the feet of Jesus as a humble repentant sinner and ask Him for forgiveness.

“Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD...” —Malachi 2:17

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"Anyone can live with Anybody if they can learn to be a Nobody." -Dr. Tom Williams

"For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself." -Galatians 6:3

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