Will God Forgive Someone Living in Adultery?
By David J. Stewart
I recently received the following e-mail from a lady...
I am a born again Christian and have been reading your website a lot. I had a very terrible past, and am now saved, as I have been convicted of many things, such as music, wearing jeans, and many other things. There is one very important question that I see a lot of on this site though and it is about divorce and marriage. As I said before, my past was TERRIBLE. I had my first child at age 18, unmarried. Then I married a man (not her father) and had 3 more children. This man turned out to be an abusive drug dealer so I divorced him and had a relationship and had another child out of wedlock. Then I later married another man, (not this child's father) and had 2 more children (twins). This man too was verbally abusive and a cheater. I got sick with depression but after I recovered I left him and divorced him. I met another man and married him (marriage number 3). This marriage started out rough due to family not excepting. We got through it and both found God and became born again Christians. It is because of this mans family getting saved, that I am saved and have turned from sin and now I am very accepted by his family. We are very happy in this marriage and we have been together for 8 years now. My question is, is this acceptable and forgiven by God? I was not saved when I got married, but 2 years later we both got saved. Do we have to separate to be saved or are we allowed to stay married and still go to Heaven? I am very confused about this. Like I said before, my past was terrible and I was not saved at all. In fact I came from a very abusive family and left home at age 18. Your help with this will be a great.
Here is my response...
Hi ********,
Thank you for your e-mail.
Divorce and remarriage is a controversial subject to many folks, but I think the Bible is clear on these matters. As you admitted, you came out of a life of sin, and the roosters have come home to roost. We all have sins in our past, and just as Peter heard the rooster crow, so do we one day come to our spiritual senses and realize that we've sinned against God and others.
Divorce is a horrible sin. I do not judge you, or anyone else--the Bible, God's Word, condemns all of us as guilty sinners (Romans 3:19).
It is our responsibility to reconcile, or at least attempt to do so, with those we have sinned against in the past. In some situations this may not be possible. In such situations, we must place the matters into God's hands who will judge accordingly in eternity. Biblically, you committed adultery when you married your present husband, kindly said. I am just being Biblical (Matthew 5:32). However, you weren't saved when you entered into your present marriage, and were living in darkness. The sin of adultery can be forgiven, just as any other sin, in Christ Jesus (Isaiah 1:18; John 1:29). When you became a Christian, your sins were forgiven. You are no longer an adulterer in the eyes of God; however, the sin itself will have to be dealt with at the Judgment Seat of Christ in eternity. Here's an article I wrote that may be helpful to you...
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Believer's%20Corner/Doctrines/judgment.htm
Although Christians won't be judged as criminals at The Great White Throne of Judgment (i.e., the judgment of the unsaved), we will be judged at the Judgment Seat of Christ (Romans 12:19; 14:12; 1st Thessalonians 4:6). 2nd Corinthians 5:10 states... "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad." So, we will not be tried as criminals for our sins. The ACT of our sin is forgiven; but the CONSEQUENCES of our sin must be dealt with and judged by God, i.e., the sin itself must be dealt with. Thus, we will all have a lot to give account for in Heaven, because all Christians are sinners saved by God's grace. To say otherwise is to call God a liar (1st John 1:8-10).
You should love, cherish, and obey your present husband in the Lord; but know that the sins of your past, and mine, will have to be accounted for in Heaven (Romans 14:12). Now, God will not punish us in Hell, because Christ bore our suffering on the cross; but the people we hurt in the past are still crying out to God for justice (if we haven't reconciled with them). God must render justice. Just because our sins have been forgiven in the Lord does NO justice to those we sinned against before we were saved. God must right these wrongs on our behalf. Although our sins are washed away by the blood of Jesus Christ (1st Peter 1:18-19), this does not address those adversely affected by our sins. Justice must be met. Thankfully, the Lord will be our Defense Attorney, or Advocate, in Heaven (1st John 2:1). Jesus will take care of everything.
Romans 12:19 states, "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." 1st Thessalonians 4:6 ... "That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified." How do these Scriptures reconcile with Hebrews 10:22 which states, "Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience..."? "Sprinkled" meaning with the blood of Jesus, i.e., we shouldn't harbor guilt over our past sins because Jesus paid for them. HOWEVER, how can a redeemed person have no guilt, and yet be in violation of defrauding a brother? The answer is simple--we have a relationship with God separate from our relationship with mankind. When we become born again, i.e., when we come to Jesus, as guilty sinners under the condemnation of God's Law, and place our complete trust upon the Savior to forgive our sins by His precious blood, our POSITION (or relationship) with God is forever settled. Every believer is positionally a child of God. However, our TESTIMONY is an entirely different matter. If we defraud others, and sin against people, then we are in trouble with the Lord AS HIS CHILD. Although our sins have been taken away by the blood of Christ, a believer who chooses to continue in sin will not have a proper fellowship with God, and God will chastise that person (Hebrews 12:8). Consequently, there will be many tears in Heaven, and great loss (1st Corinthians 3:15).
I hope this answers your question.
Kindest regards,
David J. Stewart