Mend Your Marriage
By David J. Stewart
Feminism teaches women to have a defensive attitude; whereas the Word of God teaches women to have a submissive attitude.
“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” —Proverb 13:10
I have written this article from my heart and I hope it helps someone. I am writing to both husbands and wives, but mostly to you ladies. There's no such thing as a perfect marriage. There's no perfect church. There's no perfect parents, and no perfect children. There's no perfect anything in life. Only the Word of God is perfect, to which we can anchor ourselves and not worry about the Bible changing, because God never changes (Malachi 3:6; Hebrews 13:8).
I could mention many Scriptures to you concerning mending your marriage, but one Scripture that stands out is Proverb 13:10, “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” The Bible says that ONLY by one's sinful and selfish pride do arguments, fightings and marital disputes happen. Americans are extremely proud people. We think that we deserve better than the rest of the world. It's in all the advertising on television. We hear McDonalds commercials saying, “You deserve a break today”; but you deserve to burn in Hell forever, and so do I for our sins (Revelation 20:12-15). We hear Burger King commercials saying, “Have it your way,” but it should be God's way (Proverb 3:5-7).
Humble Yourself Before God
We live in a humanistic society which is saturated with sinful and arrogant pride. It has affected our marriages and homes in the United States. We think we deserve better, and so we are thin-skinned and quick to get angry anytime we feel that we are not being treated the way we want to be treated. It is sinful pride. The first step to mending anyone's marriage is to BE HUMBLED IN THE SIGHT OF GOD. I promise you that if you'll humble yourself before God alone in prayer, and ask Him to guide you in every way, searching the Scriptures (John 5:39), that you'll find peace unto your soul and patience with your spouse (Philippians 4:6-7). Prayer can save your marriage, because it will humble you and cause you to see everything in a whole new light. Pride goeth before destruction (Proverb 16:18).
Walk With God
What most women do is gossip on the phone while her husband is at work. That is sinful and destructive to your marriage. Gossiping is the worst thing you can do. Instead of crying on someone else's shoulder about how bad you have it, why don't you walk with God. I realize that most people won't listen to me, but I am telling you how to mend your marriage. It begins with you walking with God. Someone has got to do the right thing first. I mean, a husband and wife can fight over why the glass of milk spilt, but someone needs to be the better Christian and wipe up the milk. Most couples having a marriage dispute are deadlocked. It's because of wicked and selfish pride that we have to have our way.
The Bible says that we all have to give account to God one day in eternity (Romans 12:19; 14:10-12; 2nd Corinthians 5:9-11; 1st Thessalonians 4:6; James 4:14; 5:9). Your spouse will give account for their sins and folly on Judgment Day. In marital disputes, someone needs to submit or a divorce will ensue. What usually happens is that strangers or biased family and friends meddle in a marriage, taking sides, and then it is much more difficult to reconcile the marriage. I tell you, people will destroy your marriage if your are foolish enough to let them. Just as Eve was more vulnerable than Adam to deception (1st Timothy 2:12-14), so are women today more vulnerable to hateful marriage-meddlers who think divorce is always the best solution. I am not a male-chauvinist. I'm trying to save your marriage. Submit to your husband if you love the Lord, and tell those serpents in your life to go away.
Don't Drag Meddlers into Your Marriage
I'll tell you, many husbands will not deal with a dozen people. Most husbands won't talk with anyone except the wife, but she drags a bunch of meddling people into the marriage and then the husband is demonized for not wanting to deal with meddlers. It's a sore evil that happens every day all across America. You ladies talk directly to your husband. No one loves your husband and children as much as you. I guarantee you that if a situation arose where one of your friends had to choose between your child or theirs in a life or death situation, your child would be dead. No one is going to defend your marriage and family any more than you. It's easy for outsiders and suggest divorce, because it's not their family being wrecked and ruined.
There's an evil agenda going on in America to ruin marriages. Government-sponsored women's shelters indoctrinate women with malicious propaganda, filling their minds with distorted statistics, telling her that she has a 70% chance of becoming a victim of domestic violence if she goes back home, so the best thing she can do is file for divorce. That's what the system is designed to do, ruin your marriage! Divorce is a lucrative multi-billion dollar-a-year business in the U.S.! You are falling hook, line and sinker for the devil's bait if you file for divorce. Quitting is never the right thing to do. Divorce is a sin that perpetuates for a lifetime, with devastating consequences on the entire family. It doesn't cost the judge, the lawyers, CPS, nor all the other creeps involved a penny (they make tons of money).
Rid Your Mind of Evil Feminist Country Music
And then there's feminists like country-singer, Reba McEntire, who influence women to be sassy, defensive and intolerant of less than perfect husbands. Mandy Moore, the Dixie Chicks, and other feminist singers lead women to become puffed up with vanity and pride, hateful and intolerant, despising their husband. Husbands don't stand a chance against the intolerant expectation of feminists. The result is a wicked generation who cannot co-exist because of the extreme level of sinful pride in their marriage. Of course there will be a divorce. What you need to do is turn off the TV! You need to stop associating and hanging out with feminist women, because they will poison your mind. You'd be surprised how many women file for divorce and go with with a girlfriend. Such women are failures in life, having failed to be a Biblical “help meet” to their husbands.
The Disaster of the Modern Feminist Woman
I realize that what I'm teaching is not popular these days, but in the old days of America when people still feared God and lived by the Bible, women behaved themselves and homes were much happier than today. Feminist women are quick to point out that women in the old days of America were oppressed, couldn't vote and were often viewed as commodities instead of women. That is Hollywood brainwashing. In the old days, men attended to business, while the women kept the home. Women were were better off in the old days of America, baking homemade pies and caring for her children.
Those who think women have it better today are insane, turning a blind eye to the 51,000,000 abortions, the millions of American women getting breast enlargements to boost their self-esteem and increase career-opportunities, women freezing their eggs in hopes of having a family in their 40's or 50's after achieving a successful career, working women are too busy to have a family... IT'S ALL CRAZY!!!
What irony that women have it better and worse than ever before!!! It was a wonderful nation back when there were no telephones, no radios, no TV's, no cellphones, no trucks nor automobiles, no computers. Can we even imagine life without a computer? I would love to live in an Amish community where there's no electricity. I'll give them credit for recognizing the evils that electronics brings through radio, internet and television. Technology is a double-edge sword, and we're stabbing ourselves through a hundredfold. I'd love to live in a place where there's no microwaved foods. We've lost our minds in America. Kids sit around eating hot-pockets and playing warped video games, listening to degenerate musical idols, and having their minds filled with love for Satan.
Modesty is a Novelty in Modern Apostate Times
A Christian woman who loves the Lord doesn't wear blue jean pants. It is rare to find a woman today who wears long dresses. Most women who wear a long dress these days will sport them self in a mini-skirt the next day. They are immodest at heart. Modesty is not a part-time job or an option, it is a command from the holy Scriptures (1st Timothy 2:9). This internet generation is largely insane, immoral, and unsaved. People need the truth, but sadly most websites teach lies and heresies.
I read some crazy website today that taught the Biblical Tribulation will last 41.6 years instead of 7 years as the Bible teaches. Beware Second Chance in Eternity Heresy (website claims 2nd chance in eternity for lost). The internet is a dangerous place to learn the Bible. You are fortunate if you are reading my website, because my ministry is based upon the belief that the Bible is 100% God's inspired Words. I don't speculate, but if I do I'll tell you. I try to provide Scriptures as much as possible so you can verify the truth for yourself.
Understanding the Big Picture
Everything I've said pertains to mending your marriage if you're wise enough to understand all that I've said. Satan has launched a major attack against America to destroy our families, churches, liberties, schools and economy. If you fully understand that a group of elite trash are conspiring to destroy your marriage and family, then you'll be a lot more understanding and work hard to protect your marriage. I've learned that more men are interested in the truth about the New World Order than women. Most women who divorce their husbands are totally ignorant of the truth.
The world is coming to an end. We are undoubtedly living in the last days. If they was ever a time when you need to be faithful to the Lord and to your marriage, it is today. Your attitude toward your spouse reflects your attitude toward the Word of God. Christ was willing to suffer, bled and die for our sins. Why is it that we can't even tolerate the smallest things? I heard a man say that he and his wife argue over which way the toilet paper roll turns. He wanted it to roll away from the wall, but she kept putting it toward the wall. They were fighting over toilet tissue!!! If we'll be honest, at some time we have all made a fuss over something stupid.
I'm just trying to show you that there are bigger and more important things going on in the world today, and if you start realizing this truth it will save your marriage by changing your attitude. I listen to PrisonPlanet.tv almost daily. I pay $60 a year to hear Alex Jones without commercials. It's the best deal in the world. I could watch him on video, but I usually just listen to him. He's not perfect, far from what you'll hear in church because it's a secular show; but you'll hear THE TRUTH.
Satan has a bid for your marriage, children and future family. Don't go along with the New World Order. Don't let people ruin your marriage. Walk with God and humble yourself. Do what you have to to make your marriage work. We are living in evil times when police cover for police, government covers for government, Freemasons cover for Freemasons, lawyers cover for lawyers, doctors cover for doctors, drug dealers cover for drug dealers; but families turn each other in to the authorities for anything and everything. While ignoring the massive treasonous crimes in Washington D.C., the rotten and lying newsmedia demonizes American citizens, spending all their resources on one murder or one sex crime. They turn it into a 3-ring circus, bringing in all the legal morons, and it goes on for weeks if not months. It's all intended to distract Americans from THE TRUTH about the criminals in the White House, the Pentagon and on Wall Street.
If you call 911 because your husband yelled at you and called you a female dog, they'll send out a S.W.A.T. team and raid the home, shooting the family pet, arrest your husband for verbal assault (and a half dozen other charges), and your husband will be in court for the next 4-years. It will cost him tens-of-thousands of dollars for legal representation. This is all by design. They want to ruin your marriage, foreclose on your home to steal it, take custody of your children to generate money for CPS, and legally forbid the couple from contacting each other. it's all meant to steal, kill and destroy.
You won't hear this stuff anywhere else, because most people have their heads buried in the sand. I'm simply saying that THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS OUT TO GET YOU!!! If you trip, they'll break your neck in the fall. If you have any family or marriage problems, they'll turn it into an all out war, dragging you into court, ravishing you financially, and leaving you broken, battered and much poorer. They'll walk away wealthy and without harm, loss or damage. They are snakes!!!
She That Liveth in Pleasure is Dead While She Liveth
I heard a woman criticizing her “conspiracy theorist” husband. She divorced him because she said he looked at some porn and went with a prostitute. What ever happened to forgiveness (Matthew 18:22)? She's not so perfect. The truth is that she divorced her husband because she has a hard heart of unforgiveness (Matthew 19:8). She no sooner told me about divorcing her husband and then she admitted sleeping with some local man at a hotel. What a hypocrite! She divorces her husband and then goes out to commit adultery herself. I'm not condemning her, for we are all sinners in the hands of an angry God (but He is willing to forgive if you will accept Christ's payment for your sins).
The woman went on to say that her best friend is a homosexual where she teaches school (this was years ago). She said that the local church refused to let her sing on the “Praise Team” because she went around bragging that her best friend is a homosexual. What do you expect? Why should it be surprising that a church actually has moral standards? Attending church is for anybody, a hospital for sinners; but singing on a “Praise Team” is different and a church has a right to set some requirements. When I think of her, one Scripture comes to mind... 1st Timothy 5:6, “But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.” A lot of women these days divorce their husband so they can sinfully live in pleasure. The Bible says she is dead, spiritually dead. The world is filled with the living dead today. I see dead people!!!
You need to know about the social-engineering of American women! The Communist takeover began long ago!
The Serpent of Feminism (the social engineering of American women)
Marriage problems are RARELY the fault of only one spouse. For example: If a husband is getting angry often, chances are that his wife is not keeping the home clean or she's disobeying him in some area. If a wife is depressed and slacking off in her responsibilities, it could be because no matter what she does, the husband picks on her. A situation quickly arises of, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Is it the wife's fault for not performing her responsibilities, that angers the husband? Or is it an overbearing husband who picks on his wife so much that she can no longer function anymore and it's his fault?
Are You Fulfilling Your Responsibilities in the Marriage and Home?
Let me ask you a question? If you went to work and slacked off on your duties, and then your boss came out and jumped on your case about it... what would happen if you blamed him and said it's because he's picking on you that you can't get your job done? In the real world you'd be written up or fired. Now put a husband in the same situation with his wife at home. If she doesn't want to clean, be a wife or take care of the kids, a husband is going to say something to rebuke his wife. However, if she blames him over time and says that he is overbearing and picks on her so much that she cannot function, what can that husband do? He cannot write her up, nor can he fire her.
There are husbands all across America who are in this type of situation, who are up a creek without a paddle, trying to get a lackadaisical wife to fulfil her wifely and motherly duties. Society's answer is a psychologist, who will almost always send her to a psychiatrist to be prescribed mind-altering, body-changing, zombie-creating drugs, drugs, drugs. That is NOT the answer!
In order for your marriage to be mended, someone has to change first. I ask you the question... are you doing your responsibilities? Each situation is different. A successful marriage is when a husband and wife can sit down, talk openly, and come to an agreement of who is going to be responsible for what, and then they both are responsible and fulfil what was agreed upon. If one of them cannot meet an obligation, then they need to let the other spouse know that they are having trouble. In many cases, a spouse will agree, but then not do what they said. If you walk with God, then you will care. I heard a wife admit that she hadn't cared for 20 years. That woman is not right with God. For a wife to say that she used to care, but blames her husband that she doesn't care anymore is sinful. NO ONE should be able to cause us not to care anymore. What if God stopped caring?
The bottom line is that if you are not fulfilling your duties as a mother and wife, you are to blame, period. And if a man fails to fulfill his responsibilities as a father and husband, then he is to blame. Don't play the blame-shift game that so many couples do. You are to blame for your own laziness, bad attitude or lack of care.
The Truth is Hate to Those Who Hate the Truth
There's a lot of women who despise and hate my online writings. There are many religious feminists in the churches today. There's no such thing as a Christian feminist, anymore than there is Christian adultery or Christian drunkenness. Feminists are sympathetic towards women, making a victim out of every wife and demonizing every husband. Such women attack my online writings, going to extremes in an attempt to justify their sinful rebellious attitude towards authoritative husbands.
They always mention the elusive woman with a coat-hanger who aborts her own baby in a back alley. No such incident is on record in America! They use such elusive extremes in an attempt to justify murdering precious children by abortion. Such witches are rebellious (1st Samuel 15:23), supporting abortion-rights, lesbian-rights, feminist-rights, and have no fear of God before their eyes (Romans 3:18).
Such women are fools, often fabricating hypothetical situations; such as, what if a husband orders his wife to drink beer? For a woman to even ask such a hypothetical question evidences her wicked and rebellious heart, always looking for the easy way out, the angle, the short-cut, the lazy way, a way to rebel against husbandly authority. The Bible says not to answer foolish questions. 2nd Timothy 2:23, “But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes.” Feminist rebels like to cause strifes, arguments, stirring up men and are continually talking about abusive men. If you are such a women, you need to get your heart right with God. If you are not that type of woman, than I hope you will purpose in your heart to avoid such fools who despise dominion and authority. God hates rebellion.
Having said all that, I want to make clear that I do not condone any form of abuse. The Bible teaches to do unto others as we would have them do unto us (Matthew 7:12), and that includes everybody. However, I've also seen that a lot of feminist rebels are quick to go to extremes, fabricating hypothetical situations in defense of an abused wife. In cases of genuine abuse, a wife should leave. I've always taught that; but divorce is a sin, no matter what. The big argument I make in my ministry is that many women cause the grief, frustrations and anger in their own marriage by failing to fulfill their duties and obey their husband. Feminism teaches women to have a defensive attitude; whereas the Word of God teaches women to have a submissive attitude. There's world of difference between the two.
The Evil Feminist Defensive Attitude Needs to Go Ladies
If your marriage is going to be mended, then the defense attitude needs to go, immediately. Stop listening to idiots sing about hurting your man. Reba and the Dixie jerks won't be there when your marriage falls apart. They ruined theirs and misery loves company. Feminism always talks about abusive men and how women ought not tolerate any type of abuse. It is their anthem, their mantra, and their charter... men are abusers and women are victims! That is feminism! I'm telling you to rid yourself of that type of destructive thinking!!! Sadly, many professed Christian websites teach the same crap, that is, spending most of their time focusing on abusive men rather than teaching women to be SUBMISSIVE and COMPLAINT and SWEET. If you're a fool, then you're a fool and nothing I've said will help you.
But if you love God and want to please God, then you'll obey the Bible by obeying your husband. If you listen to the feminist indoctrination about your husband breaking you down and talking power over you, then you'll analyze and fight your husband on everything he does. Feminists live in utter paranoia, ready to defend themselves against the slightest potential sign of masculine oppression. The truth is that such women are dysfunctional and end up in lesbian relationships because there's not a man in the world who can live up to there insane imperfect standards. That's what feminism does, that is, it makes women paranoid about masculine authority. Feminism is a short road to lesbianism. A lot of women don't actually become lesbians, but they want a man who thinks like a woman, so in effect feminists are mental homosexuals.
I tell you, booze will destroy your marriage faster than anything. Rid you home of Liquid Devil.
The Woman's Role
I recent read an excellent book, THE WOMAN'S ROLE, by Pastor Curtis Hutson, who followed in Dr. John R. Rice's footsteps as editor of the Sword of the Lord. January 3rd, 1981, Dr. Hutson became Editor, President, and Director of Sword Conferences until his death in March 1995. Thank God for such soulwinning men of God! Following below is a quote from Dr. Hutson's book that I agree with 100%. I have believed this for many years, and was encouraged to learn that Brother Hutson believed it as well.
A wife is to stay home from church if her husband tells her to. I know this may harelip every dog in the county; but it is Biblical. Before God ever created a church, a family, or kids--He created the MARRIAGE! I have seen several instances where a man's wife adored her pastor, almost to the point of idolatry, and ultimately abandoned her husband for the church. This is a woeful evil. No pastor should ever come between a man and his wife (Mark 10:9). A pastor is supposed to be a servant, not a home-wrecking thug!
Here are the dear words of a great man of God, Dr. Curtis Hutson...
You are not responsible for how your husband plays his role, but you are responsible for how well you play your role. You are to show the world the relationship of the church of Christ, and your part is to make the church look best you can. It is the husband's part to make Christ look as good to the world as he can by playing the part of Christ.
You say, "What if he doesn't try very hard? What if he messes up? What if he gives me a tough time? You mean I still have to play my role?" Yes.
The Holy Spirit says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ. so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
She says, "In every thing?"
"Yes, every thing."
I made a mistake as a young pastor that I corrected later. I told a lady, when her husband told her not to go to church, "You just tell him you are going to church anyway. You are going to live for God." I gave her unscriptural advice. You are to be to your husband what the church is to Christ--submissive, obedient. (emphasis added)
It is like buttoning up a shirt--if you get one button right, you get the rest right. If you get your role right and keep it right, no matter how much pressure comes--and you can believe there is going to be pressure--it will work out right. A preacher once said, "Do good and it will be good."
Did you know the whole life is pressure? You are like a vessel on a potter's wheel. God is forming your life, and He makes you form the pressures that come to your life. When you say, "I do," and the curtain goes up, it is like getting inside a pressure cooker...
Submission is a right attitude, recognizing that the husband is the head. That doesn't mean the wife can't make suggestions--that she can't tell him what she wants. But the husband is to lead the home, and he is make the final decision.
Someone says, "Now, wait a minute. I have said, 'I do,' The drama is on. I know my role. Now, what is my husband's role?"
Well, if he were here, I would tell him. I might say that his script is a little longer than yours, a little more detailed. But there is no need to talk about him; he is not here. Your role is to be submissive. Look at Titus 2. Your role is to love your husband. Your role is to be discrete, chaste, keepers at home. Did you know a woman's home is her career? It should be...
I must confess I have not been as much like Christ as I wanted to be. I must confess I haven't tried very hard at times. It is easy to forget your role. When your husband asks you to do something, it is easy to say, "Do it yourself. I am not your slave." Remember, you are not playing the role of the church when you do that.
SOURCE (Chapter 3 of Dr. Curtis Hutson's excellent book, The Woman's Role).
Perhaps you're thinking, "But isn't it important to go to church?" Yes, of course, but it's far more important for a wife to obey her husband. A wife who is fulfilling her responsibilities at home will, in time, have a godly influence upon her husband... "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives" (1st Peter 3:1). Many women forsake their husbands for the church life, and end up in divorce court.
"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." -1st Corinthians 11:3
God says that a truly submissive wife will have a positive influence upon her husband for the Lord. In some cases, the husband is resentful that his wife admires the pastor over him, so in jealousy he stops going to church. Sometimes a husband may quit church just to test his wife's loyalty. He has this right. The rebellious wife defies him and goes to church anyway. The submissive wife SUBMITS to her own husband!
Sadly, many Baptist pastors are no better than Catholic priests who arrogantly claim power over people's lives. Many churches in America have become more like cults, breaking apart marriages by brainwashing the wife that she should go to church even it it means losing her marriage. This is so evil.
In some cases, the wife is not submissive--being lazy and deceitful with her husband, hiding his mail from him, failing to clean the house, being negligent and careless, placing her parents and friends over him, lying, criticizing him--so he gets discouraged and quits church. Such a wife ought to be ashamed of herself for dragging her husband down (Proverb 14:1). She has done the exact opposite of 1st Peter 3:1. There is NO stronger power over a man than his wife. Remember, Adam forsook God for Eve.
Feminism is a two-headed monster which has crept into most of our churches. Wives today are being influenced (bombarded) by lots of unscriptural feminist advice. The result is that wives increasingly are having their own goals, ambitions, and agendas which fail to center around their husband's. No wonder the divorce rate is so high! Just as Dr. Hutson stated above... every wife's career should be HER HOME (1st Timothy 5:14). It would be a wonderful thing if America could go back 200 years when folks lived on the farm, there were no TVs, no radios, no MTV, no rock-n-roll, no pornography, no feminism, no gay-parades, no Rosie O'Donnell--life was simple then, and wives were expected to obey their husbands.
I don't think much more needs to be said... Dr. Hutson is absolutely, Biblically, and incontrovertibly right.
“Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well...” —1st Peter 3:6
"The Woman's Role" Booklets ($0.60 from the Sword of the Lord)