Dating With A Purpose
by Pastor Jack Schaap
Pastor of the First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana
Chapter Nine
Creative Ideas for Dating
"In the beginning God created.... " (Genesis 1:1)
The very first attribute we learn of God is that He is a creative God. Creativity implies being characterized by expressive thoughts and ideas. Imagination would be a good word.
Probably one of the most common problems I see in dating is that of boredom, especially among those couples who are engaged or who have been dating for more than eighteen months.
Howard said, "My fiancée complains that our relationship is the 'pits.' This really hurts me." After I asked a few questions about their dating, I was forced to agree with Howard's fiancée that their relationship was the "pits." They had basically the same kinds of dates every week with no variety or creative expression.
Some time ago, I counseled a fine couple about the problem of boredom in their dating. When we finished, the young lady said, "Thank you, Brother Schaap, for giving out ideas for a living." That pretty well sums up a large portion of my dating counsel.
Boredom can be deadly to a relationship. The following are dozens of creative dating ideas that couples have used to add some spice to their dating.
1. Plan a picnic. Picnicking is basic, but it is always fun, especially by a lake or in a row boat.
2. Prepare a Mexican dinner. Dress up in Mexican sombreros, play Mexican music, eat Mexican food. You could create the same type of atmosphere by using Chinese, Japanese, German, French, Italian, or Russian food and dress. Decorate your dining room in the national colors with color posters you can pick up at most travel agencies. Music cassettes featuring that country's native songs can be checked out at public libraries. Fifteen minutes spent reading an encyclopedia about a certain nation and its cuisine and customs could add extra touches to your decorating and entrees.
3. Entertain with a formal dinner at home. Ask a family member or friend to dress up as a butler or maid in formal serving attire. Set a formal dinner table with white linen tablecloths and napkins, crystal, china and candles. (Borrow items from friends or relatives or rent them from any rental store.) For food, you can serve anything from a five course meal featuring Chateaubriand to Big Macs. In fact, elegant settings with fast food would make the occasion humorous, yet memorable.
4. Go canoeing.
5. Go fishing. Stocked trout ponds are great fun. You are almost guaranteed to catch many fish. This is especially good for those girls who are not fond of placing worms on fish hooks.
6. Go hunting.
7. Learn the sport of archery.
8. Bowl a couple of games. To add some flair to the occasion, buy an inexpensive trophy to award your date.
9. Go hiking.
10. Play a game of table tennis.
11. Learn the game of tennis.
12. Take walks. My wife and I got into the habit of walking together while we were dating. We still love to just take a leisurely stroll through a park, along a quiet beach at sunset, or on a wooded path.
13. Secure two bikes and go biking.
14. Play a game of badminton.
15. Invest in some table and computer games. "Sorry,"
"Monopoly," "Dominos," "Checkers" and a host of other games all provide hours of laughter, challenge, and fun for two or more people.
16. Read a book together. Biographies, adventure stories, travelogues, history, the Bible, and other books can be enjoyed by reading in turn to each other.
17. Make a homemade card for a shut-in. One of the very best ways to get close to a person is to do something together for another person. There are scores of elderly or bed- ridden people in your church or community who would absolutely love a homemade card from a young dating couple.
18. Plan a surprise phone call For dating couples who are at college or away from home, put a few dollars worth of change in your pocket or purse. Stop at a pay phone and call your date's family or friend without their knowing it. When the person answers the phone, hand the receiver to your date. Not only will your date's family be pleased with the unexpected call, but your date will be surprised and happy and will spend the remainder of the date talking about this surprise.
19. Make a homemade sign or card of cheer and encouragement for your pastor.
20. Make a candy bar poster for your parents, your date, your youth director, or anyone.
These posters require a lot of thought, imagination and planning as the different names of candy bars are used to write out a loving message. (The actual candy bars are used so that the message can be eaten a little at a time!)
21. Make some homemade baked goods. Bake some cookies or brownies, or make some fudge or popcorn to take to someone in the hospital, someone sick at home, your pastor, your youth director, your grandparents, or someone who needs cheering. This activity allows you to enjoy making the gift as a date as well as enjoying giving the gift on the same or a later date.
22. Wash your parent's or pastor's car together.
23. Make a newspaper for your date. Using an actual newspaper, cut out funny or serious articles. Insert your date's name in place of the person named in the article. You could also add a picture of your date and articles written by friends. Paste the articles on a poster board and design your own headline.
24. Make a "Lifesaver" note. Carefully slice open one end of a "Lifesaver" roll of candy. Write a message to your date, very tightly roll up the message and insert it through the holes of the candy still in the package. Then carefully glue down the open end of the candy roll. At a fitting time, give it as a gift to your date. As your date takes a piece of candy, the piece of paper rolled up in the center of the roll will be discovered.
25. Make a "Cracker Jack" surprise. Carefully open the bottom of a box of "Cracker Jack." Find the prize package already in the box, open the envelope carefully in order to reuse it, and make a new prize with a special gift or message for your date. Replace the "prize package," and reseal the box. Give the box to your date. A note of caution: Just be sure you give your date the correct box!
A friend of mine gave his girlfriend her engagement ring by using this kind of surprise. He handed me four boxes of "Cracker Jack," but didn't mark which one was for his girlfriend. You never saw two guys worry more than we did when it came time for me to pass out the boxes to his girlfriend and my wife. Fortunately, it worked out as planned, but I always wondered what would have happened if the wrong person had received the ring!
26. Have a scavenger hunt. This is a great idea to use for a surprise if you have not seen your date for quite some time and you are not expected. Send a letter to your date with directions to a specific location. That letter also should hint at a special surprise gift awaiting your date's arrival! Then, at that place, have directions to other designated locations until your date arrives at a special place where you are found waiting.
27. Double date to the zoo.
28. Spend an afternoon at a museum.
29. Write the Chamber of Commerce in your state for information. Ask for the names and locations of tourist attractions, recreational facilities and parks within 25 miles of your hometown. You will be surprised at the amount of information available on different activities and facilities. For example, near my own area, you can find these:
(1) A 200-year-old authentic Dutch windmill that still grinds flour and makes for a great tour.
(2) An exact replica of a village in the Netherlands with shops, canals, Dutch costumes, and music.
(3) An antique city comprised of dozens of little antique shops that are fun to see and offer great gift ideas.
(4) A ferry boat ride across a large river.
(5) A national wildlife refuge where the geese and ducks can be fed.
(6) A rustic and romantic restaurant featuring an old-fashioned cider press still being used to make apple cider.
(7) Three-hundred-foot high sand dunes that offer an incredible view of the sunset.
(8) Dune schooner rides that are super thrilling. They drive straight down the dunes right into the water.
(9) An Amish community where an entire day can be spent touring, eating, and riding in horse-drawn buggies.
(10) State parks with great canoeing and hiking facilities.
(11) The third largest city in America with the world's tallest building. Since this building has an observation deck, it makes for a romantic date in the evening looking out over the city from 103 stories high.
(12) A boat ride on a river that flows through the large city.
(13) World-famous science museums, aquariums, planetariums. and zoos.
By no means is this list conclusive. On the contrary, the surface of what is available has hardly been touched, thereby offering a dating couple unlimited opportunities other than going to each other's houses to watch the weekly sit-coin.
30. Go miniature golfing.
31. Drive go-carts.
32. Visit auto shows.
33. Watch truck or tractor pulls.
34. Visit antique shows.
35. Attend the county fair. My wife and I take our children to the county fair each year; we go to look at the 4-H exhibits, the livestock, the horse shows, and to enjoy the food.
36. Watch a demolition derby.
37. Go to book sales at county libraries.
38. Map out and visit garage and/or yard sales.
39. Follow sports. Most guys like sports, as do many girls. The more you know about the particular sport that your date likes, the easier it will be to talk with each other.
I think you should have a general knowledge about all of the major organized sports, including some of the leading college teams. The best way to become familiar with the world of sports is to read the daily sports page in your newspaper or to peruse one of the you can find the popular sports magazines.
40. Go horseback riding. Next door to my subdivision is a riding stable. For very little money, one can rent two horses for a couple of hours.
41. Get an autographed picture of your date's favorite athlete or preacher. Send a letter and a few dollars to cover the expenses, and you can deliver a keepsake to your date.
42. Build a model of your favorite sports car together. These models are quite inexpensive and provide several hours of enjoyment.
43. Make a scrapbook. Put together a scrapbook of pictures of your dates, letters from heroes and friends, and personal remembrances to give to your date for a birthday or Christmas. I always recommend homemade gifts such as this rather than store-bought gifts. They're much more personal and meaningful.
44. Keep a journal of your daily feelings and events. Purchase two blank journals — one for you and one for your date so you may each keep a record. I did this when I was dating. I kept my journal diligently for several months. I also gave one to my girlfriend. When I asked her to let me see hers, she refused, until I brought out mine and offered to exchange. She immediately agreed to exchange. As I read her journal, I learned more about her character and walk with God and feelings for me than I ever could have learned in years of dating. Of course, this would be an idea for couples already dating seriously.
45. Make a cassette tape together to send to grandparents or family members or friends far away. You could include singing, interviews of each other, jokes, and personal messages.
46. Plan a progressive dating dinner. Get three or four couples together. Have each couple prepare one part of a full course dinner. Then, all the couples could go together to one house at a time and eat that one part of the meal. For instance, at one couple's house you could have an appetizer; at another's, you could have salad; then on to another's for an entree and to the last home for dessert. Many times parents would be glad to help in the preparation.
47. Get several couples together to go Christmas caroling. It doesn't have to be Christmas. Part of the fun is being a little crazy. Go Easter caroling or Fourth of July caroling.
48. Build a snowman together.
49. Go to the youth activities of your church together.
50. Do a chore together. Clean out the garage together for both of your parents. It's amazing how much fun work can be when you labor with someone whose presence you enjoy. Besides, Mom and Dad would be impressed with any date of yours who wanted to help you and them both. Let me add here that one of the quickest ways to gain favor with the parents of your date is to be a hard worker who jumps in when there is a job to do!
51. Visit a nursing home together. Buy some inexpensive flowers to give to the residents or take some sugarless candy or fruit. Be sure to check with the front desk to find out the best times to visit and the residents who most need company.
52. Make homemade ice cream. Modern ice cream makers are not messy and are very easy to operate; on the other hand, the old fashioned hand-cranked wooden bucket variety which requires ice and salt is more romantic.
53. Pick your own fruit and vegetables at a U-pick farm or orchard. Apples, strawberries, blueberries, etc. are fun to pick and make a great afternoon together.
54. Make caramel candy apples.
55. Put together a large puzzle. When you have finished, you can coat it with a clear glue/finish and frame it.
56. Make homemade fudge.
57. Pick autumn leaves together.
58. Go to an orchestra hail.
59. Swing on a porch swing.
60. Take an airplane or helicopter ride. I was a private pilot while I was dating my wife, and I would fly to her city in Indiana from my hometown of Holland, Michigan, to take her for an airplane ride. She loved it. If you know of a pilot, he would probably be more than excited to take both of you for a ride for a nominal fee.
61. Take a scenic tour of the Christmas lights in your city.
62. Visit a farm or a petting zoo. Many farms welcome tourists and let you participate or just watch the milking of cows and goats, the feeding and grooming of horses, the gathering of eggs, and the numerous other tasks that take place on a farm.
63. Have an outdoor barbecue.
64. Put together a surprise package for your date. If your date is travelling away from you or if you are traveling together, put several personal and novelty gifts in a sack with instructions to remove one item every hour on the hour. This makes the trip more enjoyable and is a scheduled reminder of your affection.
65. Visit your grandparents together.
66. Go cross-country skiing, tobogganing, ice skating, or sledding.
67. Learn a game, activity or sport together that is unfamiliar to both of you. Learn the rules and how to play games like chess, ping-pong, croquet, etc. Perhaps you would want to learn the art of photography together. The choices are endless.
68. Have your own Easter egg hunt.
69. Carve pumpkins together.
70. Build and fly your own kite. You can also buy fancy new ones. Either way, kite flying is great fun.
71. Go trick-or-treating together. You could make your own costumes as well.
72. Put on a fireworks display for your family.
73. Visit the cemetery together. I realize this sounds strange, but my wife and I enjoy very much visiting the cemetery where many of our dear church members are buried, thereby reliving memories we have of their earthly lives. I always try to visit the cemetery in my hometown where some of my family members are buried. These can be very sweet times to be shared with those you love.
74. Pray together. Share prayer requests and sincerely pray for those needs and burdens. I despise a certain kind of "cool" Christianity that smirks at the idea of praying together or talking of spiritual things. I happen to love God, and I am not embarrassed to talk to God or about God with my friends or family.
As you can see, I think there are a lot better ideas for dating than sitting around talking or studying or watching television. You will not get close to each other by watching the television or the VCR.
Rare is the couple who sits around and talks about the times they sat around and talked, yet I know of hundreds of couples who laugh and cry and feel close as they remember the fun activities they enjoyed with each other.
Be creative for special occasions. When Cindy and I got engaged, I took her to the fanciest restaurant which overlooked a beautiful lake in my hometown. I had purchased a card that announced this day as a very significant day in our lives. After our meal, I gave her the card. Then, I presented Cindy with a wrapped gift. It was a heart-shaped jewelry box. Inside the box was a single charm that read "Our Engagement Day." Then I gave her the engagement ring. (Both the heart-shaped jewelry box and Cindy's engagement ring are pictured on the front cover of this book.)
Let me suggest just a few ways to create your own ideas on how to make your dates special.
1. Spend an hour browsing through a gift and card shop.
Some of the major card companies spend hundreds of thousands of dollars hiring creative people to come up with unique ideas. Borrow their ideas, and make your own items.
2. Ask happily married couples for some of their best dating ideas.
3. Think. Spend 30 - 60 minutes each month alone with a notepad and pen writing down every idea you can think of for an exciting and unusual date.
4. Read youth activity books. There are several books available for youth directors to give them ideas for youth activities. Adapt some of those ideas to your individual dating times.
5. Try something different at least once every month. Don't get into a rut. Someone once said that a rut is a grave with the ends knocked out. Well, don't dig a grave for your dating relationship by having the same kinds of boring dates.
If you try something creative that is not on my list, let me know. I'm always looking for new and exciting dates I can try with my wife as well as recommending them to the many dating couples who ask me for ideas.
