Dating With A Purpose
by Pastor Jack Schaap
Pastor of the First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana
Chapter Four
Principles of Dress
Before I deal with the subject of dress, please allow me to teach a couple of basic differences about men and women. Men are primarily stimulated by sight. That explains the popularity of "sexy" magazines with many males. (Notice that I did not say "men." No "real man" allows himself to look at that kind of sleazy material.) It bothers me to think that colored ink on paper can stir a gland in our bodies.
Women, on the other hand, are primarily stimulated by touch, sound, and atmosphere. Words of affection, a well-planned date, good manners, and physical touch are what stimulates a woman.
In one of her lectures on marriage, my wife compares a man to a microwave oven and a woman to a crockpot. Men can be almost instantly stirred by a picture or a thought or a suggestive look whereas a woman responds more slowly by creative and imaginative means of communication, soft music, and a proper atmosphere.
This is why it is vital that ladies dress in a modest fashion. What may be trendy and fashionable may also be quite stimulating to a man. This is also why it is vital that a man keep his hands off his girlfriend, keep the conversation clean and proper, and keep dates well-planned and chaperoned.
Let me give you some Bible principles
for proper female dress based on I Timothy 2:9-10, which says, "In like
manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness
and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But
(which becometh women professing godliness) with good works."
Adorn
The word adorn comes from the
Greek word cosmos which describes the well-designed plan of the universe.
It refers to dressing according to a divine plan and a well-thought out plan. It
means that a woman should give careful thought to organizing her wardrobe and
clothing to match God's purpose for her as a lady.
Modesty
The word modesty means balanced or harmony. Simply put, a lady should dress so that no one part of her body or her clothing draws attention to itself. Wild hair styles, excessive make-up or jewelry, tight sweaters or skirts, unbuttoned blouses, a dress or skirt that is too long or too short, shocking designs or colors all speak of an immodest dress style.
Anything that is distracting is
Biblically immodest. We tend to think that only high hemlines or plunging
necklines are immodest; however, clothing that is dirty, unpressed,
out-of-style, or ill-fitting is also immodest, as is dirty or uncombed hair,
poorly applied makeup, or not wearing hose and dress shoes with a dress. Even
the absence of make-up can be immodest if it distracts from the overall look of
balance and harmony.
Apparel
This word literally means a let-down,
flowing garment. What a great definition of a proper skirt or a dress. This
definition eliminates shorts, trousers, tights, mini-skirts, or tight-fitting
garments for women.
Shamefacedness
The word shamefacedness is a
beautiful one that describes the feeling a little child has in the presence of
an adult. Literally, shamefacedness means quick to blush. When you
look in the mirror before you leave your room, young lady, ask yourself,
"Do I dress to entice the eyes of men?" or "Do I blush to think
that evil eyes would feed their wicked minds on my form and figure?" Oh for
a generation of pure young ladies who could blush again at the very idea that
the way they dress might hint of impurity!
Sobriety
This word means self-control. The world flaunts its fashions, and peer pressure insists that you dress according to the "styles" of the day, but sobriety says you must exercise self-control and do what is right. Sobriety says, "I must dress to show my character, not my body. I must show 'Jesus in me,' that 'hidden man of the heart,' not a sexy, sultry, 'tough' image of a 'modern teen.' "Sobriety says, "I will dress to say, 'I love Jesus, not the world.'
God does not want you to dress in a stuffy, out-of-date style. Nor does He want you to look dowdy, uncomfortable, or "strange." I am convinced that Christian young ladies should look as "sharp" and "classy" as they can afford to do so.
In light of what has been said in the previous chapter on "defrauding," allow me to ask you this question. Do you honestly believe a young lady can put on a swimsuit and go swimming with her boyfriend without causing him to think and feel unholy thoughts and feelings? My preacher puts it well when he says, "A young man who can see a pretty girl in a bikini or a pair of shorts without feeling something inside is either sick or not normal."
I don't believe for a second that a man must lust every time he sees an immodestly dressed woman; but, neither do I believe a woman has the right to tempt a man, especially her boyfriend.
It boggles my mind how we justify our sin. If a woman were to walk through her neighborhood wearing only her undergarments, she could (and should) be arrested for indecent exposure. However, if she paints those undergarments with bright, flashy colors, puts sand under her feet, and stands by a hole in the ground filled with water, she is totally justified in her immodesty. Please explain to me what makes that "right"? Does the presence of sand, the location of water, the degree of temperature or the geographical location make it acceptable? No! Right and wrong are consistent the world over by all people who choose to follow the principles of God's Word.
When the Bible says, "not with broided (braided) hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But.., with good works, "I believe Paul is contrasting the emphasis a lady ought to have in her dress. The same type of wording is found in I Peter 3:3, which states, "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel. " Now notice, if it is wrong to wear gold or plait your hair, then it would also be wrong to wear apparel. Certainly, that is not what Paul or Peter (or the Holy Spirit) is saying.
Simply put, God wants you to dress to
be able to serve Him and not need to worry about how everyone thinks you look.
If you are more concerned about how you look in the sight of others than you are
about how you can help someone who needs Jesus Christ, you are then dressing
unscripturally. Too many girls would never put a little bus kids on their laps —
they would soil their clothing or
mess up their hairdo.
What About Deuteronomy 22:5?
"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God"
This is one of the most despised and debated verses by women who do not want to forfeit their "right" trousers. Let's look at it with an open heart and mind. What does this verse say?
1. There is some kind of apparel that "pertaineth unto a man,"
2. A woman is not allowed to wear It. I know, this is Old Testament and written to Jews, and it doesn't say what that apparel is that pertains to a man. You are absolutely correct. But, please follow me all the way to the end of this chapter.
I said first, there is some kind of apparel that "pertaineth unto a man.
I said secondly, a woman is not allowed to wear it.
3. There is something called "a woman's garment" "It doesn't say what that is, but there is a definite implication that men have a unique garment and women have a unique garment.
4. Men are not allowed to put on that woman's garment.
5. Any man or woman who does so are an abomination to God. Now what does that mean? An abomination unto God is anything that God hates, despises, abhors, greatly dislikes, or punishes.
May I list for you some of the abominations of God? Homosexuality, incest, witchcraft, and women who wear a man's garment, or men who wear a woman's garment are just a few. That which God despised in the Old Testament, He still despises today. If you say Deuteronomy 22:5 is not for today, then all these other abominations found in the Old Testament are acceptable for today.
God has never changed what He hates. "For I am the LORD, I change not." (Malachi 3 :6a)
Our only question that needs an answer is what exactly is "that which pertaineth to a man" and "a woman's garment." I'll let you answer that the next time you use any public restroom. Even the world knows the universal symbol for men and women — a stick figure with trousers for men and a stick figure with a dress for women. Everybody, except stubborn Christians, knows what these garments in Deuteronomy 22:5 are. "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. (1 Samuel 15:23a)
