Shut Your Mouth!
by David J. Stewart
"But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." -James 3:8
"The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." -Proverb 18:8
"The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." -Proverb 26:22
The above duplicate Scriptures are not a typo, God is repeating this truth for a good reason--Our gossiping words HURT and INJURE other people.
People sure do love to talk about other people! It's been said, "Great minds talk about ideas, good minds talk about things, and weak minds talk about people. Unfortunately, it appears that most people are weak-minded. This is the old carnal human sin nature. It tends to make us feel vindicated when we say something derogatory about a person whom we don't like in the first place. It is human nature to want to get back at people for hurting us; however, this is not what God wants us to do. Some people are experts at running their mouths, they have learned to wait for just the right moment to deeply hurt another person's feelings (or worse...assassinate their character behind their back).
The Bible gives us much
advice concerning the mouth. I want to share with you some of those
principles. The verse we just read says a lot. "Talebearer" in the
Hebrew means "to whisper," "slander," or "backbite." It basically
means that we hurt or kill someone with our words by spreading the tale
(information). As Proverbs 18:8 says, the wounds that a talebearer
inflicts on the victim go way down to the "belly" (literally making the person
sick to their stomach!). The wounds which gossip inflicts can oftentimes
last for years (sometimes a lifetime). People who have hatred in their heart for another
person (s) will sinfully use to mouth to do what they legally cannot get away
with...kill the person. The gossiping damage done by some people's mouths
has often caused the victim (s) to wish they were dead. Some people have
even committed suicide because of the hurtful gossiping words of another person.
This is a serious matter with God. God hates gossip!
"Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people..." -Leviticus 19:16
"Whoso privily [secretly] slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer." -Psalm 101:5
"These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren." -Proverbs 6:16-19
"Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:" -1st Peter 3:8-10
By the way, gossip may be
true or false. Either way it does not matter because we are not to go
about revealing the dirty laundry of other people. If we have the love of
God in our heart, we will not go around digging up old dirt and forcing people
to constantly relive their past sins and mistakes.
"Hatred
stirreth up strifes: but
love covereth all sins."
-Proverb 10:12
We are to love our neighbor (every person). Nearly everyone knows something about someone (s) that could hurt or destroy their reputation if we told the right people. We need to be very careful with our mouths and what we say. We have the power to hurt people for a lifetime with just a few words out of our poison mouth. God will hold us accountable for EVERY word spoken.
"But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment." -Matthew 12:36
Let me also say, I do not believe we should ever conceal a crime...that is not what Proverb 10:12 means. God is NOT saying we should look the other way. What God is saying is that we should be willing to forgive the person who has made a sincere attempt to right his or her wrongs. God never condones wrong doing; God may have "winked at" their "ignorance" in the Old Testament (Acts 17:30), but He never winked at their sins. When Cain murdered his brother Able, God punished him for it (and Cain had no Bible as we do today). God didn't wink at anything about Cain's sin. To look the other way while someone is hurting another human being is a horrible sin (like the government looking the other way while Enron stole hundreds of billions of dollars from it's employees and the public). No one went to jail. God does not want us to allow sin to go without rebuke. However, if a person does repent and make things right, we are commanded to forgive them. We don't have to be their friend, but we should let the past go. Howbeit, in some cases you may not trust the person anymore (this is acceptable as long as you forgive them and are not deliberately unkind to them).
For example: If a man steals from my business and later makes things right, I will certainly forgive him...but he will not be given the same trust I once had in him...he has to earn my trust back. This is acceptable as we must protect ourselves. Since we cannot look upon the heart as only God can, we must watch people over time to determine their trustworthiness. So when the Bible speaks of love covering "all sins," God simply means that we are to forgive those who seek our forgiveness and not bring it up anymore from that point on. The world is an unforgiving place, you can mess up ONE TIME and your ruined for life. Unfortunately, this is true of believers as well as unbelievers. However, as Christians who love the Lord, we should be different from the world and not dig up old dirt on people who have tried to make things right. Most believers are carnal in this area.
This is without a doubt one of the greatest sins of believers today, continually bringing up people's past sins and mistakes!
In 1st Corinthians, the Apostle Paul wrote to rebuke the church for allowing a man and woman to live in open adultery within the church. No preaching against adultery was coming from the pulpit. Evidently the preacher got his act together because in 2nd Corinthians, we read that the adulterous man repented of his sins (but no mention is made of the woman). Paul advises the church to forgive the repentant man, "lest Satan should get an advantage over us" (2nd Corinthians 2:11). Paul did not mention the couple by name, he was ethical about the matter. Paul advised the people of the church to encourage the repentant man and let it go, lest he be overwhelmed (and possibly commit suicide as many people have done). They were to forgive the man and welcome him back into the church.
God warns us to leave slanderers and gossipers alone, lest they hurt us next.
"He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips" -Proverb 20:19
A good rule of thumb is this: If a person will tell you about someone else's dirty laundry, then they tell everyone else about yours! Scary huh?
I make it a policy to be very careful what I say to ALL people. I don't say anything to anyone that I wouldn't want everyone to hear. Our mouth can get us into a lot of trouble.
"He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction." -Proverb 13:3
Proverb 13:3 is about as simple as it gets, shut your mouth if you want to live! Shut your mouth if you value your front teeth! Shut your mouth if you value your job! Shut your mouth if you value your marriage!Shut your mouth! I say this with all kindness and respect, some people's mouths get them into a lot of trouble. Be smart, be quiet!
"Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding." -Proverb 17:28
The older I get, the less I talk. I've learned that people are somewhat leery of someone who talks too much. As believers, we should always be ready to give an answer to those who seek the truth. However, most idle talk leads to foolish and improper dialogue. Remember that as a child of God, you are an ambassador for Christ to a lost and dying heathen world. You are the best Jesus someone knows (maybe the only Jesus)! Do people see Christ formed in you? Our mouths are critical to our testimony. Listen to the Apostle James...
"If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain." -James 1:26
A "bridle" is what is used in a horse's mouth to steer and control the horse. By using the ropes attached to the bit in the horses mouth, you can control the horse. God is saying that a man who lacks control over his mouth will not be taken seriously by those around him. The word "vain" means "empty" or "having no substance." In other words, the words which leave your mouth say everything about you. Jesus taught that a person's mouth is the window to their soul.
"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh." -Luke 6:45
Jesus said that the words which come out of our mouth are a direct indication of what is in our heart. What do you talk about? We can discredit our Christian testimony very easily with our mouth. Specifically, James says to "lay aside all filthiness" in James 1:21. A Christian with a perverted mouth is ruining his or her testimony for Christ. We must learn to simply walk away. James also tells us in verse 19 to be attentive to the conversations around us, but "be SLOW to speak" and "SLOW to wrath." A hot-tempered believer who runs his or her mouth (whether it be gossiping, swearing or yelling at someone) is kidding them self if they think they are pleasing to the Lord. I've also learned that the mouth (words) ALWAYS precedes actions. Husbands who are physically abusive towards their wives are always first guilty of being verbally abusive. If a husband can learn to shut his mouth when he gets upset, the matter would not escalate further. Husbands must render "due benevolence" to the wife, God says it is "due" her; that is - you owe it to her. To control the mouth is to gain control over every other aspect of the body. It's very interesting that James 1:19 says to listen first, then be slow to say anything, then be slow to get angry. There is a divine truth here friend! Let me present James 1:19 backwards to you: The reason we are often angry is because we haven't learned to simply be quiet and listen. This is the simple truth! You show me a tyrant person and I'll show you someone who has never made an effort to LISTEN. This is good stuff! Many men and women (especially men) could save their marriages by simply learning to listen for a change instead of running their foolhardy mouth which gets them all worked up over nothing. Shut up! Sit down! Listen!
Also, we should be hesitant to speak until we have heard the whole story.
"He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him." -Proverb 18:13
This is a warning from God against jumping to conclusions (which is very easy to do when we make decisions without hearing the complete story)! How many times do people walk up into a conversation your having with someone else and just start making comments about the last few words you said? I've had this happen to me again and again. I am amazed how people can be so idiotic sometimes. I mean, this person has no idea what you and the other person are talking about and they just jump right into the conversation with their 2 cents. In most cases, this is harmless and just rude manners. However, this bad character flaw often leads to jumping to erroneous conclusions about people.
In Genesis, Potiphar jumped to conclusions concerning Joseph. Joseph was an innocent man, but Potiphar had him cast into prison because of the lying accusations against Joseph. Potiphar's wife turned on the fake tears (as many women do) and accused Joseph of trying to rape her. Of course, she was a big liar. An innocent man went to prison because of mere circumstantial evidence. Do you see why God requires at least 2 witnesses to a crime before a person can be indicted (Deuteronomy 19:15)? This is to prevent the wrongful conviction of the innocent. Unfortunately, America's court rooms do NOT practice justice and many innocent people have gone to prison based solely on circumstantial evidence. There's a lot of Josephs behind bars. Many jury's have jumped to conclusions based on misleading circumstantial evidence. It is wrong for a jury of 12 people to come to a conclusion on a matter when there is nothing to hear (no solid evidence). Proverb 18:13 says this is a "folly and shame." God is a just God!
The Bible has much more to say about our evil tongue, but we'll stop at this point. I wrote this article simply because many Christians are no better than the heathen when it comes to refraining from gossip and other spiritual problems with our mouth. By the way, we need to learn how to tell people we don't want to hear their garbage about other people...that's what garbage trucks are for. We don't need to be mean, just simply say something positive about the person they criticized. If they still continue to gossip, then simply tell them that you're having a nice day and really don't want to hear any bad things. Whatever you do...do NOT join in on the criticism! At a minimum, hear what they have to say and leave it at that, do not partake of their evil deeds by spreading their trash. Sometimes we need to listen to people because the information that their giving us may be for our own protection (or for our families). However, let the information stop right there...don't be a talebearer (one who goes around spreading the tale). Do you want instant character? According to James 1:26, it starts with closing the mouth.
"The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." -Proverb 18:8
"The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." -Proverb 26:22
God bless you friend,
Dave
