Romans 12:21, "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."
The Bible is so precious and so simple to understand if we'll just let the Holy
Spirit of God guide us into all truth as Jesus said in John 16:13. It is natural
to seek revenge when somebody does us wrong. However, the inspired Word of
God teaches for us to let God avenge us of any evils. God is much better at
reckoning a matter than we are, because He knows the true intents and extent
of the damage caused by someone's sinful words and behavior.
The Holy Bible commands believers not to avenge ourselves. God PROMISES in Romans 12:19-21 to avenge all wrongs. NOBODY EVER GETS AWAY WITH ANYTHING!!!
Remember, forgiveness is not for the perpetrator, it is for the victim and the victim's family. Do we have to forgive as Christians? Yes and no. Yes, Matthew 18:22 teaches that we ought not only forgive 7 times a day, but 70 times 7 or 490 times (i.e., unlimited forgiveness). Yet, I do not think the Bible is saying that we must go up to a person who has murdered your little child, and say: "I forgive you!" That would be too painful, awkward and in some cases I even think inappropriate. Forgiveness is a CHOICE!
Bitterness is like poison. If a snake bites you, you can choose to hunt down the snake to kill it, while the poison circulates into your blood stream and kills you; Or, you can choose to tend to your wound and let the snake go, and live. I chose years ago to let the snakes go in my life, and let God deal with them. Forgiveness is letting an offense go into God's hands, trusting Him to avenge all wrong doing against you, so that you can move on with your life in peace. Forgiveness is a matter of faith, believing the Holy Bible's promise in Romans 12:19-21 that God will avenge all wrongs (c.f., 1st Thessalonians 4:6; Ecclesiastes 12:14; Hebrews 4:13; Matthew 12:36 and Proverbs 24:12).
The Bible teaches in The Beatitudes to bless our enemies, do good to them who do us evil, and to bless them that curse us. Yet, most people curse their enemies, and despise anyone who doesn't like them. That is childish. Sadly, most adults (and this includes Christians who attend church weekly) are carnally-minded 95% of the time. It saddens me to sit in a Baptist church and hear professed Christians using foul language next to me. It is so inappropriate. I see those same believers smoking cigarettes in the church parking lot, which is disrespectful to the Lord, I think.
When people are mean, unkind, selfish and cruel toward me, I first pray for them, for God to work in their soul and life to conform them more into Jesus' image (Romans 8:29). Second, I try to avoid hurtful people, who are a source of contention, sadness and misery in my life. There is no command in the Bible to hang around mean people. If you have a family member who is abusive, and refuses to humble them self to apologize for past offenses, then it is best to leave them alone until they grow up (which in some cases may never happen).
I have counseled with umpteen distraught people who tell me about abusive family members. I understand that they are family, and you cannot disown them. But that doesn't mean you need to allow a family member to destroy your life and happiness. There are countless family members serving life sentences in prison, who ultimately snapped and murdered a family member who kept abusing them, and they had had enough. In hindsight it would have been far better to take some type of preventative measure long before the kettle boiled over. If you are in a heated situation with a family member (or any human being), you would be wise to take the matter into your own hands early on, to prevent a tragedy from happening in the future.
I was raised up to believe as a Baptist Christian that divorce is always wrong. Ironically, at least half the people I knew in my Baptist home church in Chicago are divorced today, including myself. It is tragic. My former wife abandoned me in 2006. I do not condemn anybody who is divorced. To be honest, my former wife divorcing me was a blessing in disguise, because she was a serious liability, having acute mental issues. Although I am sad that I am divorced, and I get lonely often, I have enjoyed sweet peace in my life for the past 17 years living alone. There are advantages to being single, like having no one to ruin your day and make you miserable. My former wife was rottenness in my bones. Proverbs 12:4, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”
You'd think after 17 years that my former spouse would apologize for everything, but she refuses to even apologize for anything. That is so sad and heathen. I pray for her often, but God won't force someone to repent of their pride and spoiled brat nature. My former spouse is devoutly religion, but a terrible Christian. She doesn't have a close walk with God. I don't claim to be a good Christian, but I have apologized to my former spouse with much tears. She has never shed a single tear, nor apologized in any way, except to blame other people for her sinful decision to divorce. But she alone made the final decision, and she alone picked up the pen to sign the divorce papers in her lawyer's office.
God will avenge me of all the evil which my former spouse has done to destroy my life. The truth is that I love her unconditionally with God's love, so that I don't want anything in return from her; but I do want her to face the shame and consequences of her wicked decisions, for which she still refuses to admit her wrongdoing. I want God to humble her of her spoiled brat attitude, sassy rebellious mouth and haughty pride, which she still has in 2022. Proverbs 31:11-12, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” I lost my home, retirement, possessions, pets and peace of mind, everything because of her. She never lost anything, because nothing ever meant anything to her, as they did to me.
People who don't care cannot be affected with sound reasoning. When I have spoken words of sound logic to her, time and time again, she talks over me with contempt and irreverence. When she abandoned me and our children in 2006, she never once asked for any of the wedding photos or related things, but I saved them all and still have them. Our marriage meant NOTHING to her, but it still means EVERYTHING to me. That speaks volumes as to the drastic night and day difference between her attitude and mine toward our marriage vows. Sadly, my x-wife couldn't care less about anything, and that is her shameful legacy. I have placed her into God's hands for judgment, so I can be kind and loving toward her, overlooking her faults to voluntarily help meet her frequent financial needs, even though we will never get remarried because of her carnal horrible attitude and lack of respect. END
